IF LAWYERS CAN BE DISBARRED # 1
If Lawyers can be disbarred
then will fishermen be debated?
Will magicians be disillusioned?
And politicians denominated?
SEX WITHOUT LOVE
Sex without love
Is a meaningless experience you know
I think you’ll agree
But as meaningless experiences go
Sex without love
Is pretty bloody marvelous though
SMALL BEER
When I first met my lady
All was well with life
But she soon tried to change me
Once she became my wife
She told me I must save money
And my drinking days were over
But she would still go out
Spending a mint on a make over
I complained about giving up beer
While she wasted cash so readily
She said she spent the money
In order to look pretty for me
I said that before I gave it up
That was what the beer was for
Somehow I don’t think she’ll return
By the way she slammed the door
IT IS A SAD FACT OF LIFE THAT IF # 2
It is a sad fact of life that if
There is a worse time, when
Something can go wrong
Of course it will happen then
MARRIAGE OBSERVATION
When a man opens the car door
For his wife,
You can be sure of one thing
In this life
Either it’s a new car
Or a new wife
BAR NONE
A neutron walks into a bar
“I’d like a beer” he asked
The barman serves up a beer
Promptly as he was tasked
“How much will that be?”
Asks the neutron
“For you?” “No charge.”
Replies the barman
LOST WALK
Two hydrogen atoms were walking along
One said, “I think I’ve lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?” was the others interrogative
The first said, “Oh Yes, I’m positive... “
THE BOYS
The Police arrested two kids
One was drinking battery acid,
The other was eating fireworks.
No doubt a right pair of burks
Now this is true though you may scoff
They charged one and let the other one off.
A HAND IN MARRIAGE
A humble pack of playing cards
Conceals a secret meaning
Where the suits at least warn
Of a chilling outcome of marrying
First a Heart for him to love you
Next a Diamond to marry them
Thirdly a Club to bludgeon him
And finally a Spade to bury them
REPELLING BOARDERS
She stood at the departure gate
Smiling and checking boarding passes
Dealing with the happy and the mad
The good the bad and the silly arses
When a tottering man approached
She extended her hand for his ticket
When he opened up his rain coat
And blatantly flashed her his wicket
He smiled inanely and swayed about
Having spent too much time in the pub
Without batting an eyelid she said,
“I need to see the ticket not your stub.”