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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 236

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 236

    IF LAWYERS CAN BE DISBARRED # 1

    If Lawyers can be disbarred
    then will fishermen be debated?
    Will magicians be disillusioned?
    And politicians denominated?

    SEX WITHOUT LOVE

    Sex without love
    Is a meaningless experience you know
    I think you’ll agree
    But as meaningless experiences go
    Sex without love
    Is pretty bloody marvelous though

    SMALL BEER

    When I first met my lady
    All was well with life
    But she soon tried to change me
    Once she became my wife

    She told me I must save money
    And my drinking days were over
    But she would still go out
    Spending a mint on a make over

    I complained about giving up beer
    While she wasted cash so readily
    She said she spent the money
    In order to look pretty for me

    I said that before I gave it up
    That was what the beer was for
    Somehow I don’t think she’ll return
    By the way she slammed the door

    IT IS A SAD FACT OF LIFE THAT IF # 2

    It is a sad fact of life that if
    There is a worse time, when
    Something can go wrong
    Of course it will happen then

    MARRIAGE OBSERVATION

    When a man opens the car door
    For his wife,
    You can be sure of one thing
    In this life
    Either it’s a new car
    Or a new wife

    BAR NONE

    A neutron walks into a bar
    “I’d like a beer” he asked
    The barman serves up a beer
    Promptly as he was tasked
    “How much will that be?”
    Asks the neutron
    “For you?” “No charge.”
    Replies the barman

    LOST WALK

    Two hydrogen atoms were walking along
    One said, “I think I’ve lost an electron.”
    “Are you sure?” was the others interrogative
    The first said, “Oh Yes, I’m positive... “

    THE BOYS

    The Police arrested two kids
    One was drinking battery acid,
    The other was eating fireworks.
    No doubt a right pair of burks
    Now this is true though you may scoff
    They charged one and let the other one off.

    A HAND IN MARRIAGE

    A humble pack of playing cards
    Conceals a secret meaning
    Where the suits at least warn
    Of a chilling outcome of marrying
    First a Heart for him to love you
    Next a Diamond to marry them
    Thirdly a Club to bludgeon him
    And finally a Spade to bury them

    REPELLING BOARDERS

    She stood at the departure gate
    Smiling and checking boarding passes
    Dealing with the happy and the mad
    The good the bad and the silly arses
    When a tottering man approached
    She extended her hand for his ticket
    When he opened up his rain coat
    And blatantly flashed her his wicket
    He smiled inanely and swayed about
    Having spent too much time in the pub
    Without batting an eyelid she said,
    “I need to see the ticket not your stub.”

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Oh my goodness, laffing as I write this ... tooooo funny, my dear sir!!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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