She farts like a foghorn
And shíts forlorn,
Redly straining with a wince.
Where is her prince?
Her turds pretzeled
As if by machine-press,
Their odor hints
Of last night's peppermints.
Sad, she squalls at both ends.
No squall offends
Her alone in her stall,
Words on the wall.
Her ąss, so taut its cheeks
Once farted in squeaks
And called dogs from hence and thence,
Opens for the rinse.
What brings her here
Every day of the year
To piss and groan and fart
Like a fine art?
No reason for Hades�
Just a lady's
Weakness for the chowder�
Rinse, wipe, powder.
She couldn't get prouder.
So don't you doubt her.