ARE YOU WEARING ODD SOCKS? # 2
Are you wearing odd socks?
I suppose the look is a bit hipster
But honestly at your age, you are
Meat and drink for a quipster
FOR THE BARGAIN PRICE OF A FIRST CLASS STAMP
For the bargain price of a first class stamp
You can trust a letter to the post master
But it won’t be delivered the next day
And second class won’t arrive the day after
MY GRANDFATHER WAS A BIT DEAF
My Grandfather was a bit deaf
He couldn’t hear with clarity
When Neville Chamberlain
Declared our common enemy
He thought that England had
Declared war on Jeremy
WOW GRAN
A teenage boy walks in the room
And asks his granny
“Have you seen my pills?
They were labeled LSD”
She looks at him and smiles
“**** the pills” Says she
“What about the dragon
Sat on the settee”
IT WASN”T ME
Everybody is responsible
Never mind what nanny state says
For their own actions
That’s the way it is
We are all responsible for what we do
Except of course for celebrities
OLD BUZZARD
I have come to the conclusion
Which is quite worrying
That although my sex life isn’t dead
The buzzards are definitely circling
SENIOR JOINTS
If after the age of sixty years
I think this is safely said
And you don’t wake up aching in every joint
You are almost certainly dead
USE AS DIRECTED
If you should confuse your valium
With your birth control pills, beware
You’ll end up with sixteen kids
But I don’t suppose you’ll care
MENOPAUSE FOR THOUGHT
There is a natural order in life
There are rules to be understood
For example bearing children
There is a time limit on motherhood
The term “child bearing years”
Was coined for a very simple reason
So that everything in life
Can have its time and season
A Woman over fifty is ill equipped
To show a baby proper care
As she would put the baby down
And then forget where
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 374
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To do what they shouldn’t’ve oughter
Now she has a dose of chlamydia
And Jack has trouble passing water
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