Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 227

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Woking, United Kingdom
    Posts
    2,279
    Blog Entries
    109

    A Little Bit Of Humour # 227

    ARE YOU WEARING PINK? # 2

    Are you wearing a Pink?
    Oh I understand that wink
    My pretty little Barbie girl
    As you give me a twirl
    What you’re intimating I think
    Is that everything is pink
    And it’s an image to bewitch
    When you hint at every stitch

    PUT DOWN # 1

    Put downs work the best
    For deflecting unwanted attention
    But try to be amusing
    As this relieves the tension
    Just gaze into their eyes
    And say to your pursuer
    “Why don’t you slip into something?
    More comfortable… like a coma”

    THE NAKED TRUTH (2)

    Mary stood naked before her husband
    “What do you like most about me?”
    “What is it that turns you on more,
    My pretty face or my sexy body?”
    He perused her nakedness briefly
    “Your sense of humour!” said hubby

    SNOW SHOW

    A weather man predicted snow
    But he didn’t get it right
    So the female anchor on the show
    Asked to our delight
    “So Bob, where’s that 8 inches!
    You promised me last night?”

    SENIOR GOLFING MOMENT

    I was in the golf shop browsing
    The different types of golf balls
    I had been using the women’s type
    And wasn’t getting on with them at all
    I was approached by an assistant
    Who was dark handsome and tall
    He asked if he could help me.
    And without even thinking at all
    I looked at him and said,
    “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”

    A MOTHERS TALE # 1

    While in queue at the bank one afternoon
    My toddler decided to act the loon
    Tired of the queues disapproving glare
    I managed to grab firm hold of her
    I told her if her bad behaviour did not finish
    “Right now” then she would be punished
    To my horror to my face for all to see
    She loudly began to threaten me
    With narrowed eyes and furrowed brow
    “If you don’t let me go right now,
    I will tell Grandma what I saw alright
    When you kissed Daddy’s pee-pee last night!”
    With all the dignity that I could muster
    I tried to show no sign of fluster
    In deathly silence with all eyes on me
    I headed quickly for the door to flee
    As I dragged my daughter though the door
    I heard laughter erupt in a hilarious roar

    THE LAST SUPPER

    Last night at our repast
    My wife asked me sincerely
    “Why must you eat so fast”?
    I replied “you never know really
    Which meal will be your last
    With your cooking, especially”

    ANYTHING BY GEORGE

    George arrived home from work one night
    To find the house bathed in candlelight
    His wife Julie Draped on the sofa sexily
    Wearing very little and smiling seductively
    She swung her long stockinged legs to the floor
    And walked slowly to George by the door
    In her silk camisole she looked very sexy
    Her dark nipples were aroused, he could see
    “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything.”
    So George tied her up and then he went bowling

    CLUNK CLICK

    Clunk click every trip
    Is the advice of the boffins
    Because your seat belt is never
    As confining as your coffin

    THE GINGER PRINCE WENT TO WAR

    Harry is the spare, not the heir
    So he chose to follow a military career
    And the ginger Prince went to war
    Amidst muck and bullets, blood and gore
    He is a braver man than I by some way
    It’s a shame the press gave the game away
    Now the prince is coming home again
    To the land of his grandmothers reign
    For as he bravely faced the Taliban
    There were dangers for the princely man
    For even under the pale winter sun
    He had to wear factor ninety one

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The Prairies, Canada
    Posts
    9,653
    Blog Entries
    188
    Well I sure did laff at this fresh batch of zingers!
    Couldn't pick a favorite -- they're all a hoot!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  3. #3

Similar Threads

  1. A Little Bit Of Humour # 151
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-23-2015, 03:43 AM
  2. A Little Bit Of Humour # 132
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-18-2015, 04:31 AM
  3. A Little Bit Of Humour # 131
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-13-2015, 04:34 AM
  4. A Little Bit Of Humour # 130
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-09-2015, 05:08 AM
  5. A Little Bit Of Humour # 129
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-05-2015, 04:47 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •