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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 227

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Aug 2006
    Woking, United Kingdom
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 227


    Are you wearing a Pink?
    Oh I understand that wink
    My pretty little Barbie girl
    As you give me a twirl
    What you’re intimating I think
    Is that everything is pink
    And it’s an image to bewitch
    When you hint at every stitch

    PUT DOWN # 1

    Put downs work the best
    For deflecting unwanted attention
    But try to be amusing
    As this relieves the tension
    Just gaze into their eyes
    And say to your pursuer
    “Why don’t you slip into something?
    More comfortable… like a coma”


    Mary stood naked before her husband
    “What do you like most about me?”
    “What is it that turns you on more,
    My pretty face or my sexy body?”
    He perused her nakedness briefly
    “Your sense of humour!” said hubby


    A weather man predicted snow
    But he didn’t get it right
    So the female anchor on the show
    Asked to our delight
    “So Bob, where’s that 8 inches!
    You promised me last night?”


    I was in the golf shop browsing
    The different types of golf balls
    I had been using the women’s type
    And wasn’t getting on with them at all
    I was approached by an assistant
    Who was dark handsome and tall
    He asked if he could help me.
    And without even thinking at all
    I looked at him and said,
    “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”


    While in queue at the bank one afternoon
    My toddler decided to act the loon
    Tired of the queues disapproving glare
    I managed to grab firm hold of her
    I told her if her bad behaviour did not finish
    “Right now” then she would be punished
    To my horror to my face for all to see
    She loudly began to threaten me
    With narrowed eyes and furrowed brow
    “If you don’t let me go right now,
    I will tell Grandma what I saw alright
    When you kissed Daddy’s pee-pee last night!”
    With all the dignity that I could muster
    I tried to show no sign of fluster
    In deathly silence with all eyes on me
    I headed quickly for the door to flee
    As I dragged my daughter though the door
    I heard laughter erupt in a hilarious roar


    Last night at our repast
    My wife asked me sincerely
    “Why must you eat so fast”?
    I replied “you never know really
    Which meal will be your last
    With your cooking, especially”


    George arrived home from work one night
    To find the house bathed in candlelight
    His wife Julie Draped on the sofa sexily
    Wearing very little and smiling seductively
    She swung her long stockinged legs to the floor
    And walked slowly to George by the door
    In her silk camisole she looked very sexy
    Her dark nipples were aroused, he could see
    “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything.”
    So George tied her up and then he went bowling


    Clunk click every trip
    Is the advice of the boffins
    Because your seat belt is never
    As confining as your coffin


    Harry is the spare, not the heir
    So he chose to follow a military career
    And the ginger Prince went to war
    Amidst muck and bullets, blood and gore
    He is a braver man than I by some way
    It’s a shame the press gave the game away
    Now the prince is coming home again
    To the land of his grandmothers reign
    For as he bravely faced the Taliban
    There were dangers for the princely man
    For even under the pale winter sun
    He had to wear factor ninety one

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    The Prairies, Canada
    Blog Entries
    Well I sure did laff at this fresh batch of zingers!
    Couldn't pick a favorite -- they're all a hoot!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  3. #3

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