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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 224

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 224

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 398

    There was a little girl who had a little curl
    A pretty girl with a smile to dazzle
    But that wasn’t how she wanted to be
    So she had a wax and vagazzle

    ARE YOU WEARING KNICKERS?

    Are you wearing Knickers?
    Sorry I can’t hide my snickers
    But beggars can’t be pickers
    And I expect better from Vicars

    ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 10

    Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
    Contrary to the rumour did not peg it
    After they stole the theatre takings
    They were recognised and had to leg it

    THE ROYAL AND ANCIENT AND A SAINT

    I know little about St Andrew
    Other than a shared name
    With a famous Golf course
    So he must have liked a game

    THE BEST EASTER ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 3

    I saw Arnie eating a chocolate egg
    So I said “I know what your favourite
    Christian festival is” and he said
    “You have to love Easter, baby”

    ALTHOUGH IT HAS BECOME A FAMILY TRADITION

    Although it has become a family tradition
    Not everyone over eats on Thanksgiving
    And of course I’m referring to the Turkeys
    Because they were stuffed in the beginning

    AT WHAT POINT DO MISTAKES

    At what point do
    Mistaken repetitions
    Made over time
    Become traditions

    HE WAS HARD AS NAILS

    He was hard as nails,
    And the man terrified me
    His reputation is the fact,
    Supported by Testimony,
    That he once jogged home
    After having a vasectomy

    I WENT FOR HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING

    I went for Health and Safety training
    On the safe and proper use of a ladder
    And when the instructor began with
    “Step one” I couldn’t have been gladder

    CAN I HAVE A GLASS OF RICE WINE

    “Can I have a glass of Rice Wine”
    I said “Beer makes me bilious”
    The puzzled barman replied “Sake?”
    I added “No I was being serious”

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Ha ha, loved the stuffed turkey one and the sake one.
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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