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Thread: New Years

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    New Years

    NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS ARE SOMETHING

    New Year's resolutions are something
    That go over the head of my brother
    He just doesn’t seem to grasp their import
    So they go in one year and out the other

    MY ONLY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

    My only New Year's resolution
    Is to be more optimistic next year
    By keeping my cup half-full
    With either vodka, whiskey or beer

    NEW YEAR’S EVE IS ONE OF THE FEW

    New Year’s Eve is one of the few
    Acceptable times to wear body glitter
    When you have a reasonable expectation
    Of not being mistaken for a stripper

    IT’S SUCH A MILD NEW YEAR

    It’s such a mild New Year
    All the birds are singing noisily
    Noisy little bastards
    Should be frozen to a tree

    I HATE JANUARY

    I hate January
    January I do not enjoy
    It has no pleasure
    It has no joy

    Christmas is over
    All the money has gone
    5 weeks till payday
    January is wrong

    I love December
    December has it all
    December is the time
    To have a ball

    In fact December
    Has to much fun
    And not enough time
    To get it all done

    The Festivities
    Leave us in a daze
    There is too much
    For 31 days

    So the solution
    Is a simple one
    I can’t believe
    It hasn’t been done

    Get rid of January
    No one likes it
    Have two Decembers
    Then everything will fit

    MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION THIS YEAR

    My New Year's resolution this year
    Is hopefully an antidote to future resolutions
    And to rid myself of the annual angst
    I have come up with a simple solution
    Which is to stop hanging out with people
    Who ask me for my New Year's resolutions

    IF YOU WERE BORN IN LATE SEPTEMBER,

    If you were born in late September,
    The bells should definitely start to clang
    As its pretty safe to assume that your folks
    Started out the New Year with a Bang

    RATHER THAN MAKE A POINTLESS RESOLUTION

    Rather than make a pointless resolution
    I will make a wish for those I hold dear
    May you always have all that you need
    And want all you have, Happy New Year!

    NEW YEAR’S EVE FANCY DRESS

    My friend asked me
    What I was going to be
    For New Year’s Eve
    I said “Drunk will do me”

    NEW YEARS IS JUST AN EXCUSE

    New Years is just an excuse
    For girls to dress inappropriately
    And that’s why New Years
    Is the best holiday for me

    ARE YOU WEARING A NEW YEARS OUTFIT?

    Are you wearing a New Year’s outfit?
    Well you really do look good in it
    And it doesn’t look risqué, not a bit
    It’s a really cracking little outfit
    Though all the emphasis is on the fit

    WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES

    When the clock strikes
    The midnight hour
    One year ends
    And another begins
    With an explosion
    Of pyrotechnic splendour
    Lavishly ostentatious
    Many thousands of pounds
    Up in smoke
    Is it really worth it?
    Would it not be better spent?
    On the homeless
    And the lost
    And so begin a new year
    With new hope

    NEW YEARS PICKUP # 1

    When you’re on the pull
    If you want to break the ice
    Say something funny
    Or say something nice
    Be complimentary
    Or just lie in your endeavour
    Be devastatingly witty
    Or say something clever
    On New Year’s Eve
    Before the bells begin to clang
    Ask her if she wants to
    Ring in the New Year with a bang?

    THE YEAR IS TURNING

    The year is turning, the cycle
    Has made another revolution
    It’s time once more to make
    The obligatory resolution
    Which is broken within days
    But this year I have a solution
    In order to make it last
    I will not make a resolution

    THIS YEAR’S NEW YEAR’S EVE FORECAST;

    This year’s New Year’s Eve forecast;
    A row with the girlfriend, acute loneliness
    Followed by being mostly drunk with
    A very slight chance of unconsciousness

    NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS ARE JUST

    New Year’s resolutions are just
    Lies that we tell one another
    And are something that go in
    One year and out the other

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Ha ha ha!
    And I am ALL FOR having two Decembers!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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  4. #4
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I like how those resolutions go in one year and out the next and the observation about people born in September and it occurred to me that my new years resolutions are not so much broken in days as forgotten by then.

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  6. #6
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggus View Post
    Thanks Kiz, two Decembers would certainly have benefitted you with all the practising you had to do.
    Indeed! This was my craziest Christmas ever! But looking back a week, it was all worth it. And I had a really nice Christmas despite all my worrying!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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