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Thread: Celestial Criminal Investigative Service

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    Celestial Criminal Investigative Service

    CCIS office:

    DAVID looks at her monitor with a smile. DiNOZZO and McGEE exchange glances in amazement.

    DiNOZZO:
    Can we partake in your amusement, Ziva?

    DAVID:
    You would soon be laughing on the other side of your face, as I know you, Tony.

    McGEE:
    All the better. So, what's so funny?

    DAVID:
    This website claims that men discovered paternity only 11,000 years ago.

    DiNOZZO:
    If they were all like McEinstein, they wouldn't know even today...

    DAVID (interrupts and reads aloud):

    "Pictures of naked women as iconic symbols of fertility have existed for more than 30,000 years, while the phallus became a cult object only 8,000 years ago. This is probably due to the knowledge of reproduction gained by humans from livestock breeding introduced at the beginning of the Neolithic period, 11,000 years ago."

    DAVID looks triumphantly around.

    DAVID:
    The Lords of Creation... So that's how small they started out...

    Her thumb and index finger form a narrow U. DiNOZZO is just raising a protest as GIBBS joins in.

    GIBBS:
    We also have to start small, because the riddle is big. There are over 100,000 dead women. All murdered. However we're not supposed to find the perpetrators but to find the mastermind. Get your things packed.

    DAVID, DiNOZZO and McGEE are busy.

    ++++

    A horror scenario of Dalinesque magnitude:

    The team crosses a medieval marketplace where dozens of pyres are smoking. Charred corpses of women hang on piles everywhere. Similar locations stretch to all sides. Then the team enters a musty dungeon... a torture chamber of the Inquisition. Dr. MALLARD and his assistant PALMER examine one of the numerous female corpses.

    The team joins in.

    GIBBS:
    Cause of death, Ducky?

    MALLARD:
    Hard to say. I see at least five potential causes. Which of these induced the exitus, I can only find out in the lab.

    PALMER points to martial equipment on tables and at the walls.

    PALMER:
    Nothing better could happen to the women here than eventually to die.

    MALLARD:
    How true, Mr. Palmer. How true.

    A GBI-AGENT comes in.

    GIBBS (sighing):
    Does the Global Bureau of Investigation want to steal our crime scene?

    GBI-AGENT:
    The competence of CCIS is limited to cases involving the participation of celestial powers. As long as this is not proven, this is our case.

    GIBBS:
    If there are celestial persons responsible, we will track them down. So let's do our job.

    The GBI-AGENT shrugs and pushes off. The team returns to the marketplace. A CCIS-AGENT of lower ranks is approaching.

    CCIS-AGENT:
    There are several witnesses. They claim that the perpetrators have repeatedly invoked a certain Jesus Christ.

    McGEE:
    That sounds a lot like a man behind, boss.

    GIBBS gazes at a column of smoke rising from one of the pyres.

    ++++

    CCIS Office:

    The team is standing in front of the large main monitor.

    GIBBS:
    What do we know about him?

    DAVID has several photos of a bearded man appear with the remote control.

    DAVID:
    According to our scant records, this is a certain Jeshua, called the Nazarene. It is unclear whether this means his origin from Nazareth or his affiliation to the Nazarene sect.

    DiNOZZO:
    He has various titles, above all "Christ" and "Son of God".

    McGEE:
    "Christ" is the Greek form of "Messiah" and means "the Anointed One". The idea is probably derived from the Egyptian vassal anointing. "Son of God" is a common name for ancient oriental rulers.

    GIBBS:
    So this title is nothing special?

    DAVID:
    Not really. Itīs even more common than "Sexiest Man Alive", and that is saying something.

    DiNOZZO:
    You can't manage to think not of me just for once, Ziva?

    DAVID suggests an Israeli tiger claw.

    DiNOZZO:
    By the way, boss, in the eighties a certain Mark Harmon was voted "Sexiest Man".

    GIBBS:
    Who the hell is Mark Harmon?

    DiNOZZO:
    Uh... It's okay, boss.

    GIBBS (impatiently):
    Enough talking. Tony, McGee?

    BOTH OF THEM:
    Yeah, boss?

    GIBBS:
    Yeah, what do you think? Bring in the suspect!

    ++++

    Pathological department of CCIS:

    Dr. MALLARD is handling a mutilated corpse. Next to him stands PALMER with a pale expression.

    MALLARD:
    Did you know, Mr. Palmer, that human inventiveness, when it comes to inflicting torture, knows no boundaries, but rather experimentally reaches new solutions time and again?

    PALMER becomes even paler, because he suspects what's coming.

    MALLARD:
    Thumbscrews, knee screws, mouth barriers, neck violins, iron rings, head presses, cranial screws, chain pins, thorny ruffles, coercive belts, pincers, and a wheel of torture - all of these belong to the daily practice of those who harmed these women. In addition, victims were often drowned in urine barrels, cut off their tongues, or their bodies were roasted on hot iron. I know of a case where a woman's legs were severed with flames of fire.

    PALMER:
    Just the flames?

    MALLARD:
    Yeah.

    PALMER:
    And all that on behalf of this... uh, Jesus Christ?

    MALLARD:
    He's still just a suspect, Mr. Palmer. At the moment the presumption of innocence applies.

    GIBBS comes in.

    GIBBS:
    How about it, Ducky?

    The doctor makes a comprehensive gesture to the dozens of corpses on the tables.

    MALLARD:
    Of course, these are only a few samples from the over 100,000 victims. For every victim, the exitus was preceded by hours or days of torture. That can be said for sure. Molecular analyses would probably show that most of them were also raped several times.

    GIBBS (thoughtfully):
    These women were good Marines. All of them.

    He leaves the room.

    PALMER (surprised):
    Why "Marines"?

    MALLARD:
    That's just metaphorical. He's saying they were pure of heart.

    ++++

    CCIS interrogation room:

    The bearded man from the monitor photos is sitting opposite GIBBS. Next to him is his ADVOCATE.

    ADVOCATE:
    My client denies any involvement in the crime.

    GIBBS:
    He's welcome to tell me himself.

    CHRIST:
    I am the light of the world. Did you ever hear that light kills women?

    GIBBS:
    I regard that "light" expression as a protection claim until its correctness is proven.

    CHRIST:
    If you don't believe that I am the light...

    He points a forefinger at GIBBS and at the large mirror on the rear wall.

    CHRIST:
    ... you will die in your sins.

    ADVOCATE (to his client):
    We should restrict ourselves to providing pertinent information. The sooner you'll be free again.

    GIBBS:
    So let's get to the point. According to testimonies, at least some of the deeds were committed by the perpetrators - and I quote - "in the name of Jesus Christ". Question: Did you commission these murders?

    CHRIST:
    No. Never ever.

    ADVOCATE:
    What now, Agent Gibbs? Do you have any evidence of my client's connection to the crime? Of course not. What some perpetrators may have uttered, springs from their imagination.

    He reaches for his briefcase.

    ADVOCATE:
    Can we leave now?

    GIBBS:
    No.

    He's holding up a piece of paper.

    GIBBS:
    Here is a passage from the book "Hammer of Witches" by the Dominican monk Heinrich Kramer, which tries to legitimize the deeds. He accuses the victims of having connected with a demon he calls Satanas. (Gibbs reads aloud) "He is also called a demon, that is to say, blood-smelling or bloody, namely smelling of sins, for which he thirsts and which he lets commit through triple knowledge, which makes him strong, namely through the subtlety of his nature, many years of experience and inspiration on the part of the good spirits. He is also known as Beelzebub, which is translated as the "man of the flies", that is to say, the souls who have left their true bridegroom Christ. He is also called Satanas, which means opponent."

    He smashes the paper on the table.

    GIBBS:
    In the eyes of the perpetrators, the victims had turned their backs on you, Mr. Christ, and turned towards a person called Satanas or Beelzebub to worship him. We call this a motive for a crime. How are you involved in this?

    CHRIST:
    I already told you: not at all. My lawyer rightly called the incriminating statements "fantasies". Now, if you'll excuse me....

    GIBBS grabs another paper.

    GIBBS:
    Remain seated. In Mark 9:42 it says:" And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea". In Matthew 23:33 you shout at the Pharisees: "You serpents, you generation of vipers, how can you escape the damnation of hell?"

    Again he smashes the paper on the table.

    GIBBS:
    And more of the same. In the Gospels you are threatening with hell more than 30 times. Did you really say that?

    CHRIST whispers to his ADVOCATE.

    ADVOCATE:
    These are incorrect translations. My client actually spoke of the underworld or Gehenna, a Jewish cremation site for waste and corpses at the gates of Jerusalem. Those quotes do not incriminate him anyway, as they appear in an alien context.

    GIBBS is indecisive for a moment. Then his cell rings.

    GIBBS (to cell):
    Ok. Be with you in a minute, Abby.

    He gets up.

    GIBBS:
    You wait here.

    ++++

    CCIS laboratory:

    Death Metal booms through the room. Abby SCIUTO stands dancing in front of a monitor. GIBBS and McGEE come in.

    GIBBS (screaming):
    Turn down the music, Abby!

    ABBY (screams back):
    What do you say, Gibbs?

    GIBBS (screaming):
    Get the damn music down--

    ABBY turns off the music.

    ABBY:
    Sorry, Gibbs. Well, I found something you should know.

    She points to a long laboratory table, on which a cloth is spread out showing the outline of a man.

    ABBY:
    The alleged shroud of Christ, which for his organization is proof of his existence 2000 years ago.

    She activates several windows with spectral analyses on the monitor.

    ABBY:
    I took samples from the material and cleaned them microscopically. Then I burnt the samples and converted the resulting carbon dioxide into graphite pellets, which then were measured in the mass spectrometer....

    GIBBS:
    Abby...

    ABBY:
    Sorry, Gibbs. My measurements confirmed the measurements of other institutes: the cloth is 800 years old at the most. If this Christ or his organization claims that it is almost 2000 years old, then this contradicts the opinion of...

    She caresses the device.

    ABBY:
    ... Major Mass Spectrometer. And he's never wrong.

    GIBBS:
    Well done, Abby. Is that all you got?

    ABBY:
    But no, you know me.

    She points to a small piece of papyrus on a laboratory table, covered with Greek characters.

    ABBY:
    The so-called papyrus 52, allegedly a fragment from the Gospel of John from the turn of the 2nd century of our era.

    GIBBS:
    Well?

    ABBY:
    The dating cannot be scientifically supported at all. Itīs probably a papyrus from the 3rd century.

    McGEE:
    And with all this, you're implying that...

    ABBY:
    Well concluded, McGee. We donīt know of any document or artifact from the 1st century that has any connection to this Christ, even in the beginning. There is nothing to suggest that he even existed in this century. I have a theory.... it's just a theory, but you know what I think of theories, they are...

    GIBBS:
    Abby...

    ABBY:
    Sorry, Gibbs. So could it be that this Christ is not actually...

    GIBBS (gives Abby a buss):
    Thank you, Abby.

    ++++

    CCIS interrogation room:


    GIBBS is again sitting opposite CHRIST and the ADVOCATE. DAVID has positioned herself diagonally behind GIBBS.

    ADVOCATE:
    I admire your persistence, Agent Gibbs. You should be aware that my client has nothing to blame himself for.

    GIBBS:
    Our investigations are indeed drawing a new picture of the situation. You, Mr. Christ, claim to have come to earth 2000 years ago to deliver people from their sins.

    CHRIST:
    My father sent me with this mission to the people, yes.

    DAVID:
    Let's put your father aside for the moment and focus on the facts. What actually proves your existence 2000 years ago? Can you name us witnesses?

    CHRIST whispers to the advocate.

    ADVOCATE:
    There are reliable reports about the existence of my client by the historians Tacitus, Josephus Flavius, Sueton and Pliny.

    DAVID:
    Forget Tacitus. The mention of a "Christ" in Tacitus annals 15, chapter 44, does not come at all from the Roman senator, but is a later insertion by Christian hand. Thatīs called interpolation.

    GIBBS:
    Much later, when he copied Tacitus, Severus did not take over this mention. So there was a Tacitus text without the Christ mention. Moreover, Tacitus would certainly not have changed the spelling within a few sentences, for example, in one sentence "Chrestiani" with "e" and in a following sentence "Christ" with "i". The Tacitus testimony is worthless because faked.

    CHRIST and the advocate look at each other.

    DAVID:
    You can forget Josephus, too. If his writings had included the mention of the "wise man" Christ from the beginning, why did Christian writers from the 2nd and 3rd centuries such as Justin, Hippolyte, Irenaeus, Tertullian and Origenes not refer to it? Josephus was a Jew, so his testimony of the "wise man" would have been well suited to take away the bread from the mouth of the Jewish critics of Christian doctrine.

    GIBBS:
    From this we conclude that the Josephus passage, just like the Tacitus passage, is a Christian interpolation. The alleged testimonies of Sueton and Pliny can also be challenged.

    CHRIST whispers to his advocate.

    ADVOCATE:
    The Gospels report in great detail about my client. They were written from the year 70 onwards, starting with the Gospel of Mark. These are contemporary documents.

    DAVID (smiles):
    The dating "from 70 onwards" is scientifically unsustainable. Correctly, it should read "after 70". It cannot be ruled out that the four canonical gospels were not written until the middle of the 2nd century. Only the wishful thinking of your client's followers speaks for a dating into the 1st century.

    GIBBS:
    And apart from the fact that the author names Mark, Matthew, Luke and John are fictitious and have nothing to do with the actual authors, the canonical gospels are mentioned for the first time by Irenaeus of Lyon, around 180, whereas they are never mentioned by Justin around 150. So an emergence after 150 is to be assumed, which has nothing to do with "contemporary".

    ADVOCATE:
    Yes, but Paul? He was a contemporary of my client. His letters are from the first century.

    GIBBS:
    There's no evidence of that, too. The first letters were edited by the gnostic Marcion around 140. Paul as a historical person is not proven at all. This is all the more astonishing as he is said to have planted so many churches in the first century. No, we consider this Paul to be a figure invented in the 2nd century and his letters to be products of other authors, for example, Marcion.

    ADVOCATE:
    What are you getting at? What does all this have to do with my client's alleged incitement of mass murder?

    GIBBS:
    From now on, only the Global Bureau of Investigation will deal with this suspicion. The reason for this is....

    DAVID:
    ... that we consider the heavenly origin of Mr. Christ to be a fairy tale. You, Mr. Christ, embody a false identity. Contrary to what you claim, you didn't exist 2000 years ago. Rather, the fiction of a figure with your name was constructed over the centuries.

    GIBBS (to the advocate):
    We don't know who your client really is. Anyway, his vita is fake.

    ADVOCATE:
    This is absurd. What should be the motive for constructing a false vita?

    DAVID:
    It is up to the GBI to find out, and for us the case is closed with the conclusion that your client has no heavenly origin.

    GIBBS:
    But we have developed a theory. If you don't mind, Iīll briefly outline it: The Catholic Church is probably a segregation from a religious movement called Gnosis at the beginning of the 2nd century. In the teachings of this gnosis there was a celestial figure with names such as "Autogenes","Monogenes" and "Christ". In Rome, followers of this purely spiritual belief got the idea of composing and performing mystery plays including a Christ in human form who had come from heaven. The gospels eventually emerged from these plays.

    DAVID:
    The fictional historicization could satisfy the widespread need for a redeeming king who saves the Jewish people, and also made possible the institution of the Pope's succession to the Catholic Church. Without the foundation of a historical Christ, this institution would be up in the air.

    GIBBS rises.

    GIBBS:
    Weīll hand over you, Mr. Christ, to the GBI for further investigation. We've closed the case.

    ++++

    CCIS Office:

    DiNOZZO:
    So weīre left empty-handed.

    GIBBS:
    Not quite. There is another suspect.

    McGEE:
    Which one?

    GIBBS:
    The supposed father of Mr. Christ. In the sources of his organization he is called "Lord" and "God".

    DiNOZZO:
    Did we not agree that the title "Son of God" is meaningless?

    GIBBS:
    Certainly with regard to Mr. Christ. Nevertheless, we should examine whether this god is involved in the feminicides. Tony, McGee?

    BOTH OF THEM:
    Yeah, boss?

    GIBBS:
    Yeah, what do you think? Check out his whereabouts and bring him here!
    Last edited by Tammuz; 12-21-2017 at 01:06 PM.

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