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Thread: A Gift For Maria

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Gift For Maria

    A young man called Paul
    Wanted to buy a present
    For his new sweetheart Maria
    As a Christmas present

    As they’d not been dating
    For a very long duration
    He decided to purchase
    After careful consideration
    A nice pair of gloves
    striking the right note
    Not too romantic or personal
    So the gloves got his vote

    Accompanied by Maria’s sister
    He went to Harrods and bought
    A dainty pair of white gloves
    “She will like these” he thought

    Maria’s sister Susan bought
    A pair of panties for herself
    But during the wrapping
    An error was made on the shelf

    The assistant mixed up
    The gloves and the panties
    The sister got the gloves
    And Maria got the scanties

    Without checking Paul sealed
    The package along with a note
    And sent it to his sweetheart
    And this is what he wrote

    Dear Maria, I chose these
    As I noticed my darling
    That you don’t wear any
    When we go out in the evening.

    If not for your sister Susan
    I would have got long ones
    The type with the buttons,
    But Susan wears short ones
    That are easier to remove.
    They are a delicate shade,
    But the shop assistant
    where the purchase was made
    Showed me the pair she has
    That she’d been wearing
    and were hardly soiled
    After three weeks wearing
    I had her try yours on for me
    And she looked really chic
    Even though they were
    Tight on her a little bit.

    She told me that her pair
    Helps to keep her ring
    Clean and shiny, and in fact
    And this is interesting
    Since she’d begun wearing them.
    It hadn’t needed washing

    I really hope you like them
    And wish I were there with you
    To put them on you Maria
    for the first time I really do

    As no doubt many other hands
    Will have touched them
    Before I see you again
    Remember when you remove them
    To blow into them before
    Putting them away and drying
    As they will naturally be
    A little damp from wearing

    Just think how many times
    My lips will kiss them
    during the coming year.
    I hope you will wear them
    For me on Friday night
    All my love Paul till then

    P.S. The latest style
    Which appears to be growing
    Is to wear them folded down
    With a little fur showing

    (This poem is based on an email that was doing the rounds a few years ago. To the best of my knowledge it was not credited to a particular writer but apologies if I got that wrong.)

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    OMG ... if this doesn't start World War III, nothing else will!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Really, I wouldn´t be in Paul shoes, when Maria receives this gift.
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

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