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Thread: Christmas 2017 # 1

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2017 # 1

    ARE YOU WEARING RED? # 1

    Are you wearing red?
    And standing at the foot of my bed
    I hope that means you’re Santa
    And not Jeremy Corbyn instead

    THERE IS A SINGING ELF

    There is a singing Elf
    Up at the North Pole
    With a powerful voice
    For one so small and dapper

    The singing Elf croons
    All day in the workshop
    So the other Elf’s call him
    The Christmas Wrapper

    SANTA IS SUCH A JOLLY CHAP

    Have you ever wondered
    Why Santa is such a jolly chap?
    Well it’s because he knows
    Where all the naughty girls are at

    WHY DOESN'T SANTA HAVE ANY KIDS?

    Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
    Well it’s impossible for him see
    As he only comes once a year
    And he’s normally up a chimney

    DO YOU KNOW WHY THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET

    Do you know why the Christmas alphabet
    Is one letter short? Then I will happily tell
    There are only twenty five letters in it
    Because the Christmas alphabet has Noel

    CHRISTMAS IS WHEN I TRY TO BE UNUSUALLY KIND

    Christmas is when I try to be unusually kind
    And compassionate to those around me
    Not that I’m a good person, it’s just because
    I don’t know who my Secret Santa will be

    I DON’T WANT A LOT OF FANCY PRESENTS

    I don’t want a lot of fancy presents
    Tied with bows and ribbon curls
    I only want one thing for Christmas
    And that’s Santa's list of naughty girls

    FAIRY TRADITION

    One Christmas, a long time ago
    Santa Claus was trying to prepare
    For the biggest night of the year
    But events left him in despair

    A flu epidemic hit the North Pole
    And decimated the Elves
    And a shortage of helpers
    Meant there were empty shelves

    The reindeer were rebellious
    And Rudolph’s nose was Normal
    His parcel sack had a hole in it
    And Mrs Claus was menopausal

    As a result of all his trials
    He was not in the best frame of mind
    So when a Fairy approached him
    With good intent and being kind

    Who was carrying an evergreen
    And the Fairy asked cheerfully
    “Where would you like me to put
    This lovely Christmas Tree?”

    Because of his really bad mood
    He answered her unseasonably
    And thus began the tradition
    Of a Fairy atop the Christmas tree

    BOXING DAY SPORT

    Boxing Day is very popular
    For Sport of all kinds in the UK
    But in our corner of the land
    Trial Pursuit is order of the day

    TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 18

    Twas the night before Christmas,
    And all through the abode
    Only one creature was stirring,
    But she was on the commode

    THERE IS AN OLD SAYING

    There is an old saying
    Which we now tend to disregard
    Which goes “a green Christmas
    Makes for a fat churchyard”

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Ha Ha Ha! All fun!
    Naughty girls and wrappers ... love 'em!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Nice ones about Santa and those naughty girls. Now I know why that fairy is on top of the tree.

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  6. #6
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    I like the one about the christmas alphabet spelt without an "L".

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