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Thread: Dumped.

  1. #1
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    Dumped.

    "You’re late”
    "Sorry, car trouble”
    "That’s the third time this week” she pouted
    The ‘music’ started again the amplified base vibrating on my eardrums.
    "Let’s get a drink first” I screamed in her ear.
    She followed me sulkily to the bar, where the noise was reduced by a few decibels allowing the conversation to be just manageable.
    Sharon certainly rests easy on the eye. A doll-faced beauty dressed to show off a figure that adolescent males compose their fantasies around, not that I had any personal knowledge of her sensual delights you understand. After a month of dating her, my fingers had never even found her bra strap; Sharon protected her honour with a fierce tenacity that the hero’s of the Alamo would have been proud of.

    "Who’s that?”
    I turned on the bar stool.
    "Who?”
    "That guy dancing with the girl in the yellow top”
    I blinked through the strobe light.
    "Oh that’s Terry”
    "Ooo he’s quite a dish, do you know him?”
    I thought that everyone knew Terry, every disco has a Terry, a muscle-bound fitness freak, with the personality of a walking paper clip. He never looks at the girl he is dancing with, his tiny brain is concentrating hard on his mirror practised Presley sneer and the thrusting bulge in his skin tight jeans.
    "Would you like to meet him?” I asked.
    "Don’t mind”

    Later at the bar, I found Penny, sat down beside her and ordered a beer.
    "Hi, what’s the matter, you look a bit sad?” she asked,
    "Yes, well I've just been dumped”
    "Oh I'm so sorry”
    "Well, there are sometimes you have to step aside for a better man”
    "Who?”
    "Terry”
    Terry? Oh! You’re joking”
    "No, they’re just made for each other, though it wasn't easy; Sharon is my boss’s daughter so I couldn't unload her myself could I?”
    I saw the understanding dawning in her eyes.
    After our laughter had subsided I took her hand
    "Come on, let’s get out of here and go somewhere for a decent drink”.

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    It sounds like Sharon is the better woman.

  3. #3
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Bowler, excellent short!
    Enjoyed it very much.
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  4. #4
    A User, but Registered! tonywalt's Avatar
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    Love it. great dialogue.

  5. #5
    Registered User Steven Hunley's Avatar
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    This IS excellent. Love the line "Don't Mind". Mildred says it in Of Human Bondage.
    Last edited by Steven Hunley; 11-22-2017 at 05:31 PM.

  6. #6
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    Thank you all for reading this little piece, Sharon is nice to hang on you’re arm but she finds it hard to pass a shop window without checking her appearance. I.e. Fine on the outside but nothing much is happening on the inside.

  7. #7
    Registered User fudgetusk's Avatar
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    Nice diorama.

  8. #8
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    I love your use of dialogue and how even though you didn't give too much detail you can still picture the entire scenario!

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