21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 388
Twinkle, Twinkle, little star
I think there’s something wrong
Because you have the same tune
As that annoying Alphabet Song
ARE YOU WEARING YELLOW?
Are you wearing yellow?
A brave choice for one so sallow
With thick wrinkled skin like a Tangelo
But for all that you seem quite mellow
So why are you wearing yellow?
Oh, you’re that Vince Cable fellow
ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 7
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
I can confirm are deceased no more
Though close enough, as they are
Hosting Bake Off on Channel 4
THERE IS GREAT HUMOUR TO BE FOUND # 1
There is great humour to be found
Among the numerous Americans
But for me the funniest of them all
Have got to be the Punsylvanians
LAST NIGHT I UPDATED
Last night I updated
My social media profile
But my wife didn’t
Like my picture style
In fact she said I looked
Like a paedophile
ST PATRICKS DAY FANCY DRESS
My friend asked me
What I was going to be
For St Patricks Day
I said “Drunk will do me”
ACCEPTED WISDOM IT WOULD SEEM
Accepted wisdom it would seem
Proclaims there’s no “I” in team
So that must mean that Teamwork
Will inevitably make the dream work
I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 2
I have given up sex for Lent
Which is to some small extent
An empty gesture on my part
As I had to as I have a bad heart
CARRIER BAG, CARRIER BAG
Am I the only one,
Is it really only me?
That has a carrier bag
Hanging purposefully
Dedicated for the use as
A carrier bag repository
CITIZENS OF WESTERN DEMOCRACY’S
Citizens of Western democracy’s
Will cross the world to fight for it
But are so disinterested that they
Won't cross the street to vote for it