Monday's child
Is fair of face,
(Well obviously if they don’t look
haggard on Monday morning it’s
because they don’t have any children)
Tuesday's child
Is full of grace,
(Well it’s not that lump of a boy next door then)
Wednesday's child
Is full of woe,
(And that’s what you get for drinking on a school night)
Thursday's child
Has far to go,
(Well I hope they’re not travelling on Southern Rail)
Friday's child
Is loving and giving,
(Especially on a Friday night when they’re pissed)
Saturday's child
Works hard for its living,
(So clearly not a benefit scrounger)
The child that's born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay
(my wife is Sundays child, so I would have to disagree)