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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 219

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 219

    PETER PAN GOT HIS NAME

    Peter Pan got his name
    Not by design or plan
    It was after he got hit
    In the peter with a pan

    MY GRANDMA TOLD ME HER JOINTS TROUBLE HER

    My grandma told me her joints trouble her
    And elaborated, saying they are getting weaker
    I said I had a way to make her life brighter
    If she was just to roll her spliffs a bit tighter

    I TOOK MY DOG TO A BONFIRE PARTY

    I took my dog to a bonfire party
    And he stared at the fire blankly
    I twigged as I watched the fiery licks
    It was because he loved sticks
    In fact sticks were one of his joys
    So the fire was like a pile of his toys

    APRIL SHOWERS BRING

    April showers bring
    May flowers it seems
    But then May flowers
    Only bring Pilgrims

    ST PATRICKS DAY IS AN EXCUSE

    St Patrick’s Day is an excuse
    For girls to dress inappropriately
    That’s why St Patrick’s Day
    Is the best holiday for me

    I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 1

    I have given up sex for Lent
    Which should not disconcert
    As I haven’t done it for six years
    So another month won’t hurt

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 386

    Harlequin ladybird, fly away home
    Your kind are not welcome here
    So get your Harlequin spotted arse
    Back to where you belong in Asia

    ARE YOU WEARING CLAM DIGGERS?

    Are you wearing clam diggers?
    How very beachcomber of you
    However inappropriate, given
    The fact seafood makes you spew

    ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 5

    Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
    Contrary to the rumour, are not dead
    But are doing an Elizabethan tribute act
    At the Edinburgh Fringe instead

    A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (6)

    At a get together with Family
    My widowed father told me
    That he had found a new lady
    “We’re off to Portuguese India”
    “Oh really” I said, “Goa?”
    “No” he said “she’s a bit demure”

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Ha ha ha!!
    Loved these! ... No favorite this time -- all were laffing matter!!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Poor Peter Pan!
    "I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
    Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row

  4. #4
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    That must have been a sad dog watching his pile of toys burn up. I hope St Patrick's Day and Lent don't occur at the same time. Nice ones!

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