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Thread: Halloween 2017 # 1

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Halloween 2017 # 1

    ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN SLIPPERS?

    Are you wearing Halloween slippers?
    They look very cute it must be said
    But I think they’d look much cuter
    If I was to see them under my bed

    I MET A GIRL ON HALLOWEEN,

    I met a girl on Halloween,
    Wearing blood suckers attire
    But alas she wasn’t costumed
    She was actually a vampire

    THANK GOODNESS FOR HALLOWEEN,

    Thank goodness for Halloween,
    I can say that without hesitation
    Because the cobwebs have suddenly
    Become Halloween decorations

    HALLOWEEN PROPOSITION

    My future wife was dressed like a tart
    When we first met on Elm Street
    And she said very provocatively
    “I'll be your trick if you'll be my treat”

    HALLOWEEN IS ONE OF THE FEW

    Halloween is one of the very few
    Acceptable times to wear body glitter
    When you have a reasonable expectation
    Of not being mistaken for a stripper

    HALLOWEEN IS ALL ABOUT CANDY

    Halloween is all about Candy
    Which can be very droll
    Unless she has daddy issues
    And swings from a pole

    WHY COULDN'T THE WITCH HAVE CHILDREN?

    Why couldn't the witch have children?
    It wasn’t just because she was a meanie
    The answer is far more fundamental
    Because her husband had a hallow weenie

    I AM BEING HAUNTED BY

    I am being haunted by
    A dancing ghostly vision
    Who really has the moves
    So I call him Boogie Man

    ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN SOCKS?

    Are you wearing Halloween socks?
    Beneath your skirt? it’s hard to see
    And gives me pause to wonder
    How high they go above the knee

  2. #2
    Registered User Lemonade's Avatar
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    Can I send the one about cobwebs to a friend of mine? I’m sure she would find it as hilarious as I do.
    “Fairy tales don't tell children that dragons exist; children already know that dragons exist.
    Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.”

    G.K. Chesterton

  3. #3
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Help me I am laffing to death...
    Boogie Man? ha ha ha
    hallow weenie? omg, ha ha ha ha!
    Witty and fun as ever Biggus.
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  4. #4
    Registered User
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    Halloween never used to be a time for celebration in Europe. Things American seem to be taking root this side of the Atlantic, too.

    I always enjoy reading Biggus jokes.

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  8. #8
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Yes, Halloween guarantees that at least once a year those spider webs have value.

  9. #9
    A User, but Registered! tonywalt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggus View Post
    ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN SLIPPERS?

    Are you wearing Halloween slippers?
    They look very cute it must be said
    But I think they’d look much cuter
    If I was to see them under my bed

    I MET A GIRL ON HALLOWEEN,

    I met a girl on Halloween,
    Wearing blood suckers attire
    But alas she wasn’t costumed
    She was actually a vampire

    THANK GOODNESS FOR HALLOWEEN,

    Thank goodness for Halloween,
    I can say that without hesitation
    Because the cobwebs have suddenly
    Become Halloween decorations

    HALLOWEEN PROPOSITION

    My future wife was dressed like a tart
    When we first met on Elm Street
    And she said very provocatively
    “I'll be your trick if you'll be my treat”

    HALLOWEEN IS ONE OF THE FEW

    Halloween is one of the very few
    Acceptable times to wear body glitter
    When you have a reasonable expectation
    Of not being mistaken for a stripper

    HALLOWEEN IS ALL ABOUT CANDY

    Halloween is all about Candy
    Which can be very droll
    Unless she has daddy issues
    And swings from a pole

    WHY COULDN'T THE WITCH HAVE CHILDREN?

    Why couldn't the witch have children?
    It wasn’t just because she was a meanie
    The answer is far more fundamental
    Because her husband had a hallow weenie

    I AM BEING HAUNTED BY

    I am being haunted by
    A dancing ghostly vision
    Who really has the moves
    So I call him Boogie Man

    ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN SOCKS?

    Are you wearing Halloween socks?
    Beneath your skirt? it’s hard to see
    And gives me pause to wonder
    How high they go above the knee
    love, LOVE THESE!

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