Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 211

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Woking, United Kingdom
    Posts
    2,197
    Blog Entries
    109

    A Little Bit Of Humour # 211

    WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 5

    If you value your life avoid places
    Where demons from hell meet
    Like a certain geographical location
    Infamously known as Elm Street

    I FLEW ON AN INFAMOUS BUDGET AIRLINE

    I flew on an infamous budget airline
    Who charged for every single item
    Except for the bad service, that was free,
    Which was very generous of them

    GOD BLESSED US WITH THE BRAIN

    God blessed us with the brain
    To solve very complex problems
    However human nature means
    Using it creates more problems

    I DISCOVERED WHEN WE WERE ON HOLIDAY

    I discovered when we were on holiday
    That my girlfriend screams the same way
    Whether a shark might render her caput
    Or a piece of dead seaweed touches her foot

    MY GRANDMA TOLD ME HER JOINTS TROUBLE HER

    My grandma told me her joints trouble her
    And elaborated, saying they are getting weaker
    I said I had a way to make her life brighter
    If she was just to roll her spliffs a bit tighter

    WHEN I TAKE THE TIME TO PONDER MY SITUATION

    When I take the time to ponder my situation
    I consider myself to lead a very lucky life,
    Because the fine cognac that I drink is older
    Than the woman Iím happy to call my wife

    THE MOST DEPRESSING THING ABOUT TENNIS

    The most depressing thing about Tennis
    Is that no matter how well I hit the ball
    And how much time I spend practising,
    I'm never going to be as good as the wall

    MY WIFE AND I ALWAYS COMPROMISE

    My wife and I always compromise
    Thatís the secret to being happy
    Our compromise is, that I admit
    I'm wrong and she agrees with me

    ONE DAY A COMPUTER

    One day a computer
    Actually beat me at chess,
    I didnít take it well,
    I was a total mess
    So we had a rematch
    To go tit for tat
    But he was no match for me
    With a baseball bat

    TIMES ARE BAD AND GETTING WORSE

    Times are bad and getting worse
    And Iím shocked at the severity
    As the light at the end of the tunnel
    Has been turned off due to austerity

  2. #2
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The Prairies, Canada
    Posts
    9,656
    Blog Entries
    188
    Excellent!
    Can't decide which is my favorite, either the Tennis one or the Computer one, hee hee!

  3. #3
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,420
    Blog Entries
    2
    Nice ones especially the ones about the light at the end of the tunnel, and how well the wall plays tennis, and how we can be thankful that we don't have pay for bad service.

  4. #4

  5. #5

Similar Threads

  1. A Little Bit Of Humour # 202
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-19-2017, 03:44 AM
  2. A Little Bit Of Humour # 201
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-15-2017, 03:39 AM
  3. A Little Bit Of Humour # 196
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-24-2017, 03:41 AM
  4. A Little Bit Of Humour # 140
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-04-2015, 04:03 AM
  5. A Little Bit Of Humour # 122
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-11-2015, 04:47 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •