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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 210

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    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 210

    WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 4

    If on your travels you find a town
    Which looks deserted, let’s say
    It’s probably like that for a reason.
    So take the hint and stay away

    INTERRUPTING ANNETTE

    “Give me a sentence starting with “I”“
    The teacher asked young Annette
    “I is...” she began but teacher interrupted
    “No, always say, “I am”, Annette”
    The girl looked puzzled, but complied
    “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet”

    I DECIDED TO TAKE AN AEROBICS CLASS FOR SENIORS

    I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
    And I had to gyrate, jump, twist and bend
    And I sweated for an hour, but, by the time I got
    My leotard on, the class was already at an end

    RELATIONSHIP RULES

    Anything I may have said
    Six months ago to you
    Is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, in my view
    All comments become null and void
    After a day or two

    THERE IS A VERY DISTINCT DIFFERENCE

    There is a very distinct difference
    Between Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday
    The former is an all-night party and
    You wake up with the latter the next day

    THE OVER 50 EXERCISE PLAN

    With a 2kg potato bag in each hand,
    Extend your arms straight out from your sides
    And hold them there as long as you can.

    Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
    Each day you'll find that you can hold
    This position for just a bit longer on this plan.

    After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato bags.
    Then try 25kg potato bags and eventually 50kg bags
    When you are ready put a potato in each of the bags.

    EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

    Everything happens for a reason,
    Is the generally accepted view
    Unfortunately you must admit
    That sometimes the reason is you

    BLACK WIDOW SPIDERS KILL THEIR MALES

    Black Widow spiders kill their males
    After mating, before the afterglow starts
    And the reason for that is quite simple
    It’s to stop the snoring before it starts

    EYES BIGGER THAN MY BELLY

    Eyes bigger than my belly
    Especially for cake and jelly
    My appetite no one could stifle
    After I got an eye full of trifle

    I HAD A “GRUMPY OLD MAN” MUG

    I had a “grumpy old man” mug
    And my grandchildren got it
    But I turned into a “Grumpy old man”
    When I accidentally smashed it

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Nice ones. In particular those exercise ones with the potatoes and the leotard. The one about the reason everything happens is pretty good too.

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    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Ha ha, I loved these!
    My favorite would have to be the Aerobic one. Still laughing... :-)

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