WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 4
If on your travels you find a town
Which looks deserted, let’s say
It’s probably like that for a reason.
So take the hint and stay away
INTERRUPTING ANNETTE
“Give me a sentence starting with “I”“
The teacher asked young Annette
“I is...” she began but teacher interrupted
“No, always say, “I am”, Annette”
The girl looked puzzled, but complied
“I am the ninth letter of the alphabet”
I DECIDED TO TAKE AN AEROBICS CLASS FOR SENIORS
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
And I had to gyrate, jump, twist and bend
And I sweated for an hour, but, by the time I got
My leotard on, the class was already at an end
RELATIONSHIP RULES
Anything I may have said
Six months ago to you
Is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, in my view
All comments become null and void
After a day or two
THERE IS A VERY DISTINCT DIFFERENCE
There is a very distinct difference
Between Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday
The former is an all-night party and
You wake up with the latter the next day
THE OVER 50 EXERCISE PLAN
With a 2kg potato bag in each hand,
Extend your arms straight out from your sides
And hold them there as long as you can.
Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold
This position for just a bit longer on this plan.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato bags.
Then try 25kg potato bags and eventually 50kg bags
When you are ready put a potato in each of the bags.
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
Everything happens for a reason,
Is the generally accepted view
Unfortunately you must admit
That sometimes the reason is you
BLACK WIDOW SPIDERS KILL THEIR MALES
Black Widow spiders kill their males
After mating, before the afterglow starts
And the reason for that is quite simple
It’s to stop the snoring before it starts
EYES BIGGER THAN MY BELLY
Eyes bigger than my belly
Especially for cake and jelly
My appetite no one could stifle
After I got an eye full of trifle
I HAD A “GRUMPY OLD MAN” MUG
I had a “grumpy old man” mug
And my grandchildren got it
But I turned into a “Grumpy old man”
When I accidentally smashed it
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