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Thread: The fragrance of stones

  1. #1
    Registered User DieterM's Avatar
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    The fragrance of stones

    grins and insouciance,
    tanned shoulders shrugging
    under swaying plane trees,
    black as thunder;
    salt on their leaves,
    and salt on our lips;
    a singer croons about love,
    or loss, or sinking ships

    Patsoula brings beer,
    her hips swinging,
    her breasts sheeted with sweat
    and silver glitter

    little niches around us,
    stone walls,
    round tables,
    plastic chairs,
    and a night that never bends

    we count drachmas,
    ena dio tria tessera,
    Patsoula laughs,
    white teeth gleam
    like the foam crowning the waves
    of the Aegean below us

    hours ago
    we were Poseidon’s sons
    splashing in the sea,
    then walking hand in hand
    through the pine grove,
    red sand and dust swirling
    under our feet

    our faces still glow
    with the remains of the ferocious sun,
    and the off-white stones
    of the low walls around us
    slowly breathe

    safe and secure, their smell,
    and comforting and solid,
    of things past and to come,
    a hint of dried pine needles,
    a trace of salt and tears,
    the fragrance of everything crumbling,
    eventually,
    crumbling and turning to dust

    and then Patsoula shouts,
    ‘More beer?’,
    we nod and grin
    and shrug our tanned shoulders,
    pende exi efta,
    love, and loss,
    and sinking ships
    Last edited by DieterM; 08-02-2017 at 04:14 AM.
    "Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
    New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    The link in your signature didn't send me to Amazon but to viglink where a search was done.

    In the poem it looks like Patsoula is a waitress and a group of Greek men, perhaps sailors because of the Poseidon's sons reference, are enjoying some bears. There are hints that there are problems such as loss and sinking ships and everything crumbling to dust, but I don't know what those problems are. It reminds me of "Brandy" by Looking Glass.

  3. #3
    Registered User DieterM's Avatar
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    TY for reading, YesNo… yeah, I saw that the signature link led to strange places; dunno how that could've happened. I corrected the link now.

    For me poetry is painting with words. Therefore I'm glad this poem seemed to work for you now that you shared with me the "movie" or picture you created in your head. My intention was not to write about sailors (one of Poseidon's sons is me, actually—always feel like one when I go for a swim in the Mediterranean), but I like your interpretation just as well :-)
    "Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
    New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)

  4. #4
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Enjoyed the rich language used in your poem DieterM.

    Researched "plane trees" (huge! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platanus ) and "ena dio tria tessera" (1, 2, 3, 4) and "pende exi efta" (pente eksi efta ? [5, 6, 7] ) and "insouciance" (had forgotten its meaning... not a word seen/heard much in my part of the Gold Country, but very descriptive).

    It reminds me of "Brandy" by Looking Glass.
    ... I like the allusion; the song Brandy is a favorite of mine.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  5. #5
    Registered User DieterM's Avatar
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    Thanks a lot, Tailor, and glad you liked it… as for pente / pende (5), it's actually written pente, but pronounced pende (with the "n" almost but not completely mute— there's no such letter as a "d" in Greek, so they use the couple n+t when a letter should be pronounced "d"; as for the letter delta, it is pronounced like the "th" in words like "the, bother" and so on…). :-)
    "Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
    New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)

  6. #6
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Hi Dieter,
    A realistic picture of a Greek beach gathering.
    And yes, the ships with the fugitives are sinking dayly and the world is probably crumbling to dust, but nevertheless the "tanned shoulders" are enjoying their fleeting moments of confort and security.
    Congrats for the new book!
    "I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
    Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row

  7. #7
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    A wonderful poem, Dieter. The title, evocative, inspired, sets the reader up for this journey. My only criticism of the poem is centred on your excessive use of and in s3. You really only need one here, the last one. Cutting the others Ives the stanza more impact as well as letting it flow more naturally.

    Apart from that very minor issue, it's a fabulous offering. Thanks for sharing.


    Live and be well - H

  8. #8
    Registered User DieterM's Avatar
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    Hey, Hawkman, glad to see you around :-) thanks for reading and commenting. I guess you're right about the "and"s, I shall correct it right now, thanks for pointing out this weakness. Glad you liked the rest!
    "Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
    New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)

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