THE DESIGNED INSTITUTION
The institution of marriage was designed,
It has very often been said
In order to keep a girl out of mischief
And get her into trouble instead
I ONCE MADE A SEX TAPE
I once made a sex tape
With an old girlfriend of mine
Although the first I knew
Was when I saw it on line
THE ONLY BUSINESS MODEL
The only business model
Whose proprietor prefers
Customers with no redeeming
Qualities, are Pawnbrokers
I UPSET MY ENGLISH TEACHER
I upset my English teacher
So I tried to comfort her
And said There, Their, They’re
THE HEAD CHEF
The head chef
At my favourite restaurant
Died only the other day
And the devastating news
Came out of the blue
He just Pasta way
I WENT TO THE RESTAURANT LAST NIGHT
I went to the restaurant last night
The Maître d’ said there was a delay
And did I mind waiting, I said no
So he handed me a drinks tray
THE FRUIT AND VEG WHOLESALERS IN TOWN
The fruit and veg wholesalers in town
Has been liquidated and closed down
They looked for backers but got no takers
So now they’re owned by smoothie makers
MACARONI MOTORS
I told my wife
That I made a car
Out of Macaroni
It wasn’t until
I drove pasta
That she believed me
GRANDAD BEAT HIS WIFE TO DEATH
Grandad beat his wife to death
But it’s not so bad I should say
As it just means that he died
Before Grandma passed away
WHY ARE BABY FLAMINGO’S
Why are baby Flamingo’s
Always allowed to mess around?
It’s simply because the parents
Won’t put their foot down