Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 203

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Woking, United Kingdom
    Posts
    1,915
    Blog Entries
    109

    A Little Bit Of Humour # 203

    MY DAUGHTER IS AWAY AT UNIVERSITY

    My daughter is away at University
    And has nothing in common with ET
    Because ET phoned home occasionally

    I AM DOUBLY HANDICAPPED

    I am doubly handicapped
    Which has scuppered my plans
    I am illiterate and ambidextrous
    So I canít write with both hands

    THE GIRL IN THE CRINOLINE GOWN

    The girl in the crinoline gown
    Danced like in a dream
    While moving in unfashionable
    Circles it would seem

    FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

    Donít talk to me about
    Fifty shades of grey
    Iím at the care home
    Vagazaling grannies everyday

    YOUíRE NEXT

    If it annoys you when old people
    Point at you during someoneís nuptials
    And say ďyouíre nextĒ just start doing
    The same thing to them at funerals

    WITH OR WITHOUT HER

    It wasnít that he couldnít live with her
    That caused him to doubt
    It was just that he wanted someone
    He couldnít live without

    THE CHINESE DONíT WANT VISITORS TO KNOW

    The Chinese donít want visitors to know
    They are being spied on in Beijing
    That why the Chinese government
    Changed the cityís name from Peking

    POPPERS

    They said they had poppers at the party
    But no evidence of them could be seen
    There was no strands of confetti anywhere
    And the carpets were spotlessly clean

    RICHARD GURLEY DREW

    Richard Gurley Drew invented sellotape
    In order to help out a mechanic friend
    I got his autobiography for Christmas but
    I didnít finish it as I couldnít find the end

    MY DAUGHTER WAS GIVEN A NOVELTY GIFT

    My daughter was given a novelty gift
    Which really wasnít intended to confuse
    But the look on her face was a picture
    When she held a pair of chocolate shoes

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    21
    I love these so so much :P

  3. #3
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,200
    Blog Entries
    2
    I liked the one comparing one's daughter to ET and the one describing the problem of being illiterate and ambidextrous. There's also nothing like being next at a funeral.

  4. #4

  5. #5

Similar Threads

  1. A Little Bit Of Humour # 133
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-19-2015, 12:54 PM
  2. A Little Bit Of Humour # 120
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-07-2015, 05:50 AM
  3. A Little Bit Of Humour # 119
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-05-2015, 04:50 AM
  4. A Little Bit Of Humour # 118
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-01-2015, 03:51 PM
  5. A Little Bit Of Humour # 117
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-28-2015, 04:48 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •