I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 16
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill me with a sense of security
As I was going under I heard the surgeon say
“Hand me that...uh...that uh... doohicky”
AUSTRALIAN CULTURE
Being English we like to think that
Australians have no refinement at all
But today they are not without culture
They have Greek yogurt now after all
SOPHISTICATED NORTH AMERICANS
I had heard that there was such a thing
As sophisticated North Americans
And I have to admit when I heard that
I assumed they were talking about Canadians
WAS THE FIRST MAN ADAM, AN ENGLISHMAN?
Was the first man Adam, an Englishman?
There’s a question with which to grapple
As he was stood next to a naked woman
And he had thoughts only about the apple
THERE WAS ONCE A DUTCHMAN
There was once a Dutchman
Who made inflatable togs
It was a only a short career
But he popped his clogs
MY COMPUTER IS LIKE
My computer is like
Air conditioning as it goes
It works perfectly well
Until I start opening windows
MR OHM WANTED TO MEET SOMEONE
Mr Ohm wanted to meet someone
And start a marital home
And he just couldn’t resistor
That’s why she’s now Mrs Ohm
MY SON HAS AN IPOD
My son has an iPod
His sister has an iPad
My wife has an iPhone
And its iPay for Dad
NOW I KNOW I’VE REACH ROCK BOTTOM
Now I know I’ve reach rock bottom
It must be due to my personality
I just got in my car and I discovered
And even the Satnav’s not talking to me
AN INSECT PACKER
He was interviewed for the job
Of an insect packer of bugs and thrips
He answered all the questions
And in the end boxed all the ticks