Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Blank 3

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,160
    Blog Entries
    8

    Blank 3

    I cannot pay the bill
    The bitter bill for all the children killed.
    I will not cry
    Nor shed my tears for those the horsemen
    Gather to their sides.

    I raise my fist,
    My fist a hammer, mannered in the flames
    To beat upon the flesh of tyrants,
    Crushing, with the weight of graphite;
    Striking out blank faces in the lists.

    I will not yield
    Yield to the woven lies the spider
    Witch spins out, in tangled waves, betrayed
    To burn out hope and life and love:
    I would claim the olive and the dove.

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    A rural part of Sweden, southern Norrland
    Posts
    3,123
    I enjoyed this, concentrated wisdom.

  3. #3
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Beyond nowhere
    Posts
    11,111
    Blog Entries
    2
    Me too!
    Strong effective images:
    indignation- resistance- peace.
    "I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
    Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row

  4. #4
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,420
    Blog Entries
    2
    Nice sound to this. I find iambic meter bewitching especially interspersed with rhyme.

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,160
    Blog Entries
    8
    Dreamwoven: thank you for reading, for enjoying and for commenting.

    Danik 2016: the world we live in generates quite a lot of the first, a will to the second, and precious little of the third.

    Y/N: I'm delighted that you were bewitched.

    Thank you all again for reading and replying.

    Live and be well - H

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    South coast
    Posts
    91
    Bit deep for me but I liked 'claim the olive and the dove but what is ' the weight of graphite? or mannered in the flames?

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,160
    Blog Entries
    8
    Hi Magnocrat: I'm glad you liked the live and doves. As for your questions, the point is, really; what do you think they are? It is one of the aspects of poetry that it employs language creatively, sometimes upsetting preconceived expectations of meaning which encourage the reader to ponder the images produced. Interpretation varies with personal experience, of course. One also needs to be aware of contexts and layers of meaning. For example, lists, can mean an area reserved for combat and jousting, or they can be lists of names, or objects, or anything else that you can put in a list. You just have to think about it and see where you end up. Once the writer releases the words, he seldom has any control over how any particular reader may take them...

    Live and be well - H

  8. #8
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    3,640
    Blog Entries
    1
    Admirable as always Hawk. Hope you're well.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,160
    Blog Entries
    8
    Hello, JB, thanks for stopping by. How's the seaside? I endure, and though everything is unutterably awful, for the moment, the awfulness is not as extreme as it has been. This means that there is now the potential for it to get worse, doubtless, something to look forward to and celebrate.

    Live long and prosper, comrade. Watch out for gargoyles. - H

  10. #10
    Registered User DieterM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Paris
    Posts
    825
    There's so much to love in this that I'd need to copy the whole poem if I wanted to point out my favourite passages, but for me, the wordplay with "bitter bill", and then the images of the "spider witch" as well as the "tangled waves" lift even further up an already highly accomplished poem. How you do this thing of using so little words to so much effect and making it seem so effortless is always a miracle to me. Oh, craftsmanship and talent, I gather… Anyway, you know how much I love repetitions when used skillfully, and in my eyes, the repetition of bill, fist and yield lends an almost angry force to your lines. Sincerely sorry to read (in your answer to JB) that things don't seem to go very well for you at the moment… can't promise to pray for things to get better, but I'll lift a glass of Bordeaux wine to your health and well-being (make it a glass of Burgundy wine if such is your preference) :-)
    "Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
    New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)

  11. #11
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,160
    Blog Entries
    8
    Hi Dieter, and thanks for stopping by. Glad you found so much to enjoy in this. I was pretty angry when I wrote it. It doesn't take much these days. I just watch the news, or not...

    A little rhetoric never hurts to emphasise a point, but as with all things, best in moderation

    Your prayers would probably have been ineffectual anyway. Much better to employ a really good team of assassins to make the world a better place. A Few choice removals, and Bingo! We might all start again lol. The wine is definitely a good option. I've a couple of bottles squirrelled away for when everything gets too unbearable.

    Live and be well - H

Similar Threads

  1. Blank verse?
    By Fa_KS in forum Poems, Poets, and Poetry
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-14-2016, 06:05 AM
  2. An example of Blank Verse
    By Fahmida in forum Who Said That?
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-02-2015, 07:03 PM
  3. Blank Elegy
    By Lykren in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-09-2013, 06:34 AM
  4. Blank Canvas
    By Hawkman in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-05-2013, 06:27 AM
  5. 2007 has been a year of (blank blank blank)
    By Lily Adams in forum Forum Games
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01-11-2008, 10:52 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •