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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 200

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 200

    I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 15

    I went into hospital for minor surgery
    The staff did not fill me with a sense of well being
    As I was going under I heard the surgeon say
    “It’s a shame Page 47 of the manual was missing!”

    HE WAS FED UP WITH HIS DEVICE

    He was fed up with his device
    So in frustration without flinching
    He dropped his iPad in the river
    And it immediately started synching

    MY GRANDSON IS ALWAYS ON HIS PHONE

    My grandson is always on his phone
    Its scrambled his brain I think
    “What you need is a life” I said
    He replied “Ok send me the link”

    THE LAMB AND PUP

    I walked into my local
    “The Lamb and Pup”
    The landlord said “Bitter?”
    I replied “No just fed up”

    WHEN ASKED WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING # 2

    When asked what he did for a living
    He replied furtively “I’m a spy”
    When told he was dressed as a butcher
    He added “I’m a mince Spy”

    I THOUGHT HE WAS SHOT IN THE FOREST

    I thought he was shot in the forest
    But I was wrong, and the reason
    Was a simple misunderstanding
    He was shot in the Lumbar region

    SISTER AGATHA AT THE CONVENT

    Sister Agatha at the convent
    Was somnambulistic
    The sleep walking nun
    Was called a Roaming Catholic

    WHEN MOSES WENT TO MOUNT OLIVE

    When Moses went to mount Olive
    He bit off more than he could chew
    As Moses thought it was just him
    But he found Popeye was there too

    YOU SHOULD NEVER ENTERTAIN LEWD THOUGHTS

    You should never entertain
    Lewd thoughts, whatever you do
    You should close your eyes
    And let them entertain you

    MY SISTER WORKS IN THE IT DEPARTMENT

    My sister works in the IT department
    And got sacked for having dyslexia
    Her boss told her to “unzip his files?”
    She misunderstood and he sacked her

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Very nice one about lewd thoughts and who should entertain who. I also liked the one about Popeye, but then I am old enough to remember the cartoon. It occurred to me that even I have started to ask my kids for links as well.

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