The relationship between Brian and George wasn´t clear to me before your explanation. I thought it was a boy with an animal toy or something.
This last story is much clearer. I only don´t understand why the protagonist is angry.
The relationship between Brian and George wasn´t clear to me before your explanation. I thought it was a boy with an animal toy or something.
This last story is much clearer. I only don´t understand why the protagonist is angry.
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
Neither do I. He's caught in his mind somewhere. That's sort of how I am too when walking and distracted. I spent the afternoon in the botanic garden since the day was nice.
Here's a story for this week's Carrot Ranch prompt: fish tale. https://carrotranch.com/2018/04/26/a...ion-challenge/
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Fish Tale
He wondered if a mermaid was a fish or if he’d catch anything today or if the soldiers would spot him.
Once he was robbed. They almost killed him with the beating. He didn’t mind dying, but he had to bring fish home to Martha and Peter.
He was too delirious from the bombings and hiding to catch food. He slept till she woke him handing him more fish than he’d ever expect to see. “For Martha and Peter. And you.”
As she turned to dive into the water he thought he heard her say, “I’m not a fish.”
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
I liked this story best of all. It is very fluid. One understands everything and there is still enough space for working of the imagination of the reader. And you aren´t killing of all your protagonists any more to produce an final shock.Following these weekly prompts seems to be a good writing practice.
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
I am glad you liked this one, Danik. They are good writing practice since they are only 99 words. If I can think of something to say, I'm usually done with a first draft in a few minutes. This past week I was too busy with other things to write something for the Carrot Ranch prompt and I couldn't think of anything to say for the "line" theme. I will have to wait for the new prompt on Friday.
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
The new prompt, "property values", is in at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories (not counting words in the title): . https://carrotranch.com/2018/05/17/m...ion-challenge/
Here's mine.
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Property Values
Tim’s intuition played tricks on him. What he thought would turn a profit didn’t. What he gave up on suddenly succeeded.
He didn’t want the Langford place, but Jennifer loved its enchanted forest. So they bought it. They also bought the Stevens property. Its value rose, as did their taxes, but this year they sold it for a loss.
Jennifer walked with him through the Langford woods. She pointed out, “We could build a home near the fairies if we keep it small.”
Tim felt his intuition smile at Jennifer’s innocence. They built that home and kept it small.
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
Cute and wise!
I am sorry I missed the crane prompt.
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
I missed the last two Carrot Ranch prompts. I could use the excuse that there was too much going on, but these stories don't take long to write. The problem is I couldn't think of anything to say. Days went by and then the desire to procrastinate grew stronger.
I'm glad you like this story, Danik!
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
You are right. I´m procrastinating since I began to follow the blog.
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
The new prompt is "warrior women" at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories. Here's mine:
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Wanda
Silvia walked into Benny’s Diner. Sharon told Benny to deal with her or she’d quit. Benny shuffled to the bar.
“Morning, Silvia.”
“I want a real waitress serving me.”
Benny glanced at Sharon. “She’s busy.”
“She’s just standing there.”
“How about some pancakes?”
“Are they gluten-free?”
“You know they’re not.”
Silvia ordered pancakes as usual. While she dripped corn syrup over margarine the dreaded alien invasion began. Silvia looked at Benny and Sharon. She ripped off her street clothes revealing her secret identity as Warrior Wanda. It was time to show these wretched Earthlings how high maintenance kicks butt.
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
The new prompt at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories is "man glisten". It is apparently about putting glitter in a beard. https://carrotranch.com/2018/06/08/j...ion-challenge/
Anyway, this is my take on it.
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Man Glisten
Peter’s daughter laughed. She could see the glitter in his hair. Not much, but enough to sparkle.
“You still got it!” She said.
“You gave it to me,” Peter responded.
“You’re glis...glistening?”
“Yeah. I’m glad you let me glisten for a while.”
Peter really was glad. It was not easy for her to throw that glitter on him last week. She showed unexpected initiative. In case showering removed too much of it, he retouched his hair to make sure she would see some before he guided her wheelchair to the kitchen table for breakfast.
What a sparkling day!
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
I´m not familiar with cyberfiction but the story has a good surprising ending Yes/No.Originally Posted by YesNo
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
This story is very touching, specially because of the implicit father daughter relationship. Sometimes when you imply something I get confused.Here the implicit feelings add density to the story. It´s one of my favorites.
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
I am glad you liked that, Danik. With only 99 words almost everything has to be left out, but I kind of like leaving things out.
The new prompt went up yesterday. It is "bouquet". https://carrotranch.com/2018/06/15/j...ion-challenge/
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Finally Blooming
That was the spring Alice turned the lawn into a big bouquet of flowers. It surprised Joe but looking at her face looking at the former lawn with a gentle smile she rarely showed him anymore made him grateful.
The neighborhood wives thought her odd for years. Her newfound gardening energy did not impress them. Alice’s view of them wasn’t pretty either.
That winter Alice died.
Joe kept her bouquet of former lawn going for the next decade as long as his life allowed. He received help especially towards the end and gifts of plants from the neighborhood wives.
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
I liked this one too. But something I feel about your figures is that the name doesn´t matter very much: Alice could be Mary or Ann or Lucy or whoever. The same with Joe. Have you ever tried describing a figure?That might individualize it more. But then I don´t know if you want to individualize them. And 99 words is limiting.
"I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row
Your right about those names. I don't think about them much except to pick common, but different ones. The name should help to describe the figure and "Joe" suggests just about every male.
There's a new challenge at Carrot Ranch. I missed the last two because I couldn't think of anything to write. The theme is "buttons" and they have to be exactly 99 words excluding the title: https://carrotranch.com/2018/07/05/j...ion-challenge/
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Buttons
Ryan held the hand-carved applewood buttons. They each had four tiny holes like real buttons.
“Your Uncle Thomas made them for me.” Ryan returned the buttons to his great aunt. He couldn’t see why anyone would have made them.
“He made my wedding dress as well.” Ryan thought that was as odd as those buttons.
“We bought a cake and two rings. I had flowers for my hair.” He heard the story before.
“I forgave him.” Ryan listened. He hadn’t heard that part.
“For dying so young.” He had heard that part.
“I feel him visit me every day.”
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
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