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Thread: Nano story contest

  1. #121
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    The relationship between Brian and George wasnt clear to me before your explanation. I thought it was a boy with an animal toy or something.
    This last story is much clearer. I only dont understand why the protagonist is angry.
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

  2. #122
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Neither do I. He's caught in his mind somewhere. That's sort of how I am too when walking and distracted. I spent the afternoon in the botanic garden since the day was nice.

    Here's a story for this week's Carrot Ranch prompt: fish tale. https://carrotranch.com/2018/04/26/a...ion-challenge/

    -----------------------------------

    Fish Tale


    He wondered if a mermaid was a fish or if hed catch anything today or if the soldiers would spot him.

    Once he was robbed. They almost killed him with the beating. He didnt mind dying, but he had to bring fish home to Martha and Peter.

    He was too delirious from the bombings and hiding to catch food. He slept till she woke him handing him more fish than hed ever expect to see. For Martha and Peter. And you.

    As she turned to dive into the water he thought he heard her say, Im not a fish.

  3. #123
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    I liked this story best of all. It is very fluid. One understands everything and there is still enough space for working of the imagination of the reader. And you arent killing of all your protagonists any more to produce an final shock.Following these weekly prompts seems to be a good writing practice.
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

  4. #124
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I am glad you liked this one, Danik. They are good writing practice since they are only 99 words. If I can think of something to say, I'm usually done with a first draft in a few minutes. This past week I was too busy with other things to write something for the Carrot Ranch prompt and I couldn't think of anything to say for the "line" theme. I will have to wait for the new prompt on Friday.

  5. #125
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    The new prompt, "property values", is in at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories (not counting words in the title): . https://carrotranch.com/2018/05/17/m...ion-challenge/

    Here's mine.

    --------------------------

    Property Values

    Tim’s intuition played tricks on him. What he thought would turn a profit didn’t. What he gave up on suddenly succeeded.

    He didn’t want the Langford place, but Jennifer loved its enchanted forest. So they bought it. They also bought the Stevens property. Its value rose, as did their taxes, but this year they sold it for a loss.

    Jennifer walked with him through the Langford woods. She pointed out, “We could build a home near the fairies if we keep it small.”

    Tim felt his intuition smile at Jennifer’s innocence. They built that home and kept it small.

  6. #126
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Cute and wise!

    I am sorry I missed the crane prompt.
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

  7. #127
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I missed the last two Carrot Ranch prompts. I could use the excuse that there was too much going on, but these stories don't take long to write. The problem is I couldn't think of anything to say. Days went by and then the desire to procrastinate grew stronger.

    I'm glad you like this story, Danik!

  8. #128
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    You are right. Im procrastinating since I began to follow the blog.
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

  9. #129
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    The new prompt is "warrior women" at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories. Here's mine:

    ---------------------------------------------

    Wanda


    Silvia walked into Benny’s Diner. Sharon told Benny to deal with her or she’d quit. Benny shuffled to the bar.

    “Morning, Silvia.”

    “I want a real waitress serving me.”

    Benny glanced at Sharon. “She’s busy.”

    “She’s just standing there.”

    “How about some pancakes?”

    “Are they gluten-free?”

    “You know they’re not.”

    Silvia ordered pancakes as usual. While she dripped corn syrup over margarine the dreaded alien invasion began. Silvia looked at Benny and Sharon. She ripped off her street clothes revealing her secret identity as Warrior Wanda. It was time to show these wretched Earthlings how high maintenance kicks butt.

  10. #130
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    The new prompt at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories is "man glisten". It is apparently about putting glitter in a beard. https://carrotranch.com/2018/06/08/j...ion-challenge/

    Anyway, this is my take on it.

    --------------------------------

    Man Glisten


    Peter’s daughter laughed. She could see the glitter in his hair. Not much, but enough to sparkle.

    “You still got it!” She said.

    “You gave it to me,” Peter responded.

    “You’re glis...glistening?”

    “Yeah. I’m glad you let me glisten for a while.”

    Peter really was glad. It was not easy for her to throw that glitter on him last week. She showed unexpected initiative. In case showering removed too much of it, he retouched his hair to make sure she would see some before he guided her wheelchair to the kitchen table for breakfast.

    What a sparkling day!

  11. #131
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YesNo View Post
    The new prompt is "warrior women" at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories. Here's mine:

    ---------------------------------------------

    Wanda


    Silvia walked into Benny’s Diner. Sharon told Benny to deal with her or she’d quit. Benny shuffled to the bar.

    “Morning, Silvia.”

    “I want a real waitress serving me.”

    Benny glanced at Sharon. “She’s busy.”

    “She’s just standing there.”

    “How about some pancakes?”

    “Are they gluten-free?”

    “You know they’re not.”

    Silvia ordered pancakes as usual. While she dripped corn syrup over margarine the dreaded alien invasion began. Silvia looked at Benny and Sharon. She ripped off her street clothes revealing her secret identity as Warrior Wanda. It was time to show these wretched Earthlings how high maintenance kicks butt.
    Im not familiar with cyberfiction but the story has a good surprising ending Yes/No.
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

  12. #132
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YesNo View Post
    The new prompt at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories is "man glisten". It is apparently about putting glitter in a beard. https://carrotranch.com/2018/06/08/j...ion-challenge/

    Anyway, this is my take on it.

    --------------------------------

    Man Glisten


    Peter’s daughter laughed. She could see the glitter in his hair. Not much, but enough to sparkle.

    “You still got it!” She said.

    “You gave it to me,” Peter responded.

    “You’re glis...glistening?”

    “Yeah. I’m glad you let me glisten for a while.”

    Peter really was glad. It was not easy for her to throw that glitter on him last week. She showed unexpected initiative. In case showering removed too much of it, he retouched his hair to make sure she would see some before he guided her wheelchair to the kitchen table for breakfast.

    What a sparkling day!
    This story is very touching, specially because of the implicit father daughter relationship. Sometimes when you imply something I get confused.Here the implicit feelings add density to the story. Its one of my favorites.
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

  13. #133
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I am glad you liked that, Danik. With only 99 words almost everything has to be left out, but I kind of like leaving things out.

    The new prompt went up yesterday. It is "bouquet". https://carrotranch.com/2018/06/15/j...ion-challenge/

    ------------------------
    Finally Blooming


    That was the spring Alice turned the lawn into a big bouquet of flowers. It surprised Joe but looking at her face looking at the former lawn with a gentle smile she rarely showed him anymore made him grateful.

    The neighborhood wives thought her odd for years. Her newfound gardening energy did not impress them. Alice’s view of them wasn’t pretty either.

    That winter Alice died.

    Joe kept her bouquet of former lawn going for the next decade as long as his life allowed. He received help especially towards the end and gifts of plants from the neighborhood wives.

  14. #134
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    I liked this one too. But something I feel about your figures is that the name doesnt matter very much: Alice could be Mary or Ann or Lucy or whoever. The same with Joe. Have you ever tried describing a figure?That might individualize it more. But then I dont know if you want to individualize them. And 99 words is limiting.
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

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