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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 197

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    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 197

    FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 13

    It wasn’t a pea in her bed that kept her awake
    It was something of a very different genus
    The reason for her exhaustion each morning
    Was as a result of the Princess and a penis

    HIGHER EDUCATION IS A WONDERFUL THING

    Higher education is a wonderful thing
    But achieving it is not without expense
    And the downside to higher education
    Has been the demise of common sense

    But high IQ’s and University degrees
    Don’t stop them doing something stupid
    Or being repeat offenders at stupidity
    Whereas common sense always did

    A MAN WANTED TO GO SWIMMING

    A man wanted to go swimming
    With sharks when the flags flew red
    Of course you can do it at a price
    But it could cost an arm and a leg

    WE WENT TO THE SEASIDE

    We went to the seaside
    And it was so grim
    Even the tide was reluctant
    To come back in

    I WON AN ALL-EXPENSES PAID

    I won a round the world trip,
    All-expenses paid
    But my wife wanted to go
    Elsewhere I’m afraid

    SEND ONE BAG TO TOKYO

    A passenger said “Send one bag to Tokyo
    And the other to Paris, is that clear?”
    They said at the check in desk “you’re going
    To Athens so we can’t do that I fear”
    “Why ever not” the man said in reply
    “That’s exactly what you did last year”

    BIMBETTE PACKED ALL HER GLOVES

    Bimbette packed all her gloves
    Into one suit case for Santorini
    When I asked her why she replied
    “Because its hand luggage only”

    MY WIFE TOLD THE ITALIAN WAITER BLUNTLY

    My wife told the Italian waiter bluntly
    Without ambiguity what she meant
    That his pepper grinder was like a penis
    So he thanked her for the condiment

    HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WEARING TIGHTS?

    “How long have you been wearing tights?”
    I asked him as we got changed for cricket
    He smiled at me ruefully and then replied
    “Since my wife found them in my pocket”

    I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 12

    I went into hospital for minor surgery
    And was fearful the procedure would be a botch
    And as I was coming around I heard someone say
    “Did anyone see what I did with my watch?”

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I always wondered about the princess and the pea story. Nice ones about the inverse correlation of higher education and common sense, the tide not wanting to come back in and the risks of minor surgery.

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