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Thread: Not the end, after all

  1. #1
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Not the end, after all

    Feedback, please?

    Not the end, after all

    11 a.m. in the shade of the museum pillars,
    Human Rights etched into smooth white stone.
    The drowsy city stirs, cool prelude to a searing day.
    As yet, the streets are ours –
    morning debriefing on the transience of earthly love.
    What would the Renaissance masters make of us?

    - - The weary soldier reclining under a sycamore tree,
    an adoring nymph draped across his chest
    while placid donkeys and parrots look on in the fading light.
    Miles amorosus et puella conflagrata.
    Or a more modern version: Herzog and Krüger –
    the best of vagrant lechery for your entertainment, since 1998.
    Duke and Potter: Lost Labour tops the album charts. - -

    You smile wryly and we set out.
    Another café that smells of old people,
    uncomfortable reminder of the passing years.
    You are oblivious.
    “You can’t break up. I need you around.” you say with a gulp
    and that settles it.
    Outside, the ant-like shoppers stare.
    You have to go and mow the lawn, jog and … stuff,
    a to-do list long enough to wrap the void at the centre of the galaxy.
    A challenge in the glitter of your eyes, lips curled in a subtle smirk.
    “Not here!” you say.
    So I salute you,
    soldier without a war.
    Last edited by SleepyWitch; 03-16-2017 at 05:06 AM.

  2. #2
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    I liked it. Modernist touch. Conspicous canario.Tried to imagine what city is this
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

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    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danik 2016 View Post
    I liked it. Modernist touch. Conspicous canario.Tried to imagine what city is this
    Thanks

    Hehe, what city do you think it is?

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    Birkenhead?

  5. #5
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamwoven View Post
    Birkenhead?
    Haha, no Birkenhead isn't that glamorous.

  6. #6
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    No, maybe Paris or New York. Museum, old cafés.Not London, I think!
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

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    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danik 2016 View Post
    No, maybe Paris or New York. Museum, old cafés.Not London, I think!
    Hehe, could be, I guess.
    If you really want to know, you could google it. There are some very specific details in the poem.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyWitch View Post
    Haha, no Birkenhead isn't that glamorous.
    Oh, it has to be glamorous!

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    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamwoven View Post
    Oh, it has to be glamorous!
    Huh? Why?

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    Its often the less well-known that are more interesting to learn about. There should have been a question mark at the end of my post, not an exclamation mark...

  11. #11
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamwoven View Post
    Its often the less well-known that are more interesting to learn about. There should have been a question mark at the end of my post, not an exclamation mark...
    True. But the poem still isn't set in B'head

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