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Thread: The Search Within

  1. #61
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    An Aside.....12
    By the year twenty four and half, the l.s. had read almost all the classics written or translated in the language of our past masters---whether these were authored by the literally giants or the religious icons. While critically evaluating the ‘words’ of the masters, the most glaring lacunae he found, which had him floored! When he had listed their revelations in black and white and by the time had prepared a comparative chart of their celestial ‘revelations’, and ‘words’---about the multifarious phenomena of life, resurrection, final judgment, Moksh (libration from the bondage of the cycle of birth and death), Nirvan, death, re-incarnation and God: he, surprisingly found that their ‘revelations’ were completely at variance with each other! Not had two masters agreed on any one of these ‘gospels’. Their treatises on these ‘subjects’ differed.
    So far he had been led to believe that all the prophets, messiahs, Avathaars(God in human form) had only one message to proclaim to humanity; the brotherhood of man, and the universal-hood of God. But what they actually conveyed was totally different in content as well as in precept! This baffled him the most.
    By this age his body had been wizened by its non-stop over-indulgence of physical pranks. He had realized all bodies behave in similar fashion in bed. That all bodies are same in nature! By loving one, one can fulfill one’s physical evolvement! This realization came, though early in life but not before it had spent lacks of ill-gotten money! (In late fifties and early sixties, earning lacs in a month and spending it too, was a lot of money!) After all, fast life had its positive side effects also! He went through so much, in such a short span of life that he had lived his life to its brim and there were no more physical heights to achieve; no more adventure to seek. He had extended and expended ten times more than the flights of his imagination. He had performed, in physical parlance, ten times beyond his physical endurance.
    Thus having fulfilled his physical indulgences, which by now had started to bore him due to the similarity of reactions, familiarities of places, repeating same tricks of the trade, when he decided to put a stop to this (dark) side of his personality and began devoting more time to his other side, his inner being, trying to find answers to questions nagging his brain! Uppermost were: How the first man was born? Wherefrom he came? How the Creation came into being and who created it? What type of being He is? How is His brain? What is the purpose of this life? Why death? He did not want to be born, so why should he die either? He was quite afraid of death. He just wanted to run away to far off dense jungles and escape from the clutches of death! Eventually it led him there. But that is another story. These questions haunted him day and night.
    By now reading some Upanishads and the ‘works’ of Adhi Shankaraachaarya, especially Vivekchuddamani, and his commentary on Brahamsuther and, above all the synthesis of these all---the Srimadh Bhaagavath Geetha (celestial song of Lord Krshan), he found in theory, answers to most of his questions! But the interest in reading tickled his brain to raise deeper and deeper queries. However the more he read, the deeper his quest would go and his questions became more subtle. No master was satisfying his quest; no scripture could quench his thirst of ‘knowledge’! Fortunately his job and postings were such and there was always ample time and funds at his disposal. He utilized them profusely in the procurement of books and read voraciously. And believe me; he guzzled carts loads of books. Books on each and every subject except of course the mathematics. On whatever he laid his hands on, he read that, excepting again, the pornography as he have had enough of that in his practical life, as well as in the secret dens of his perverted mind. There were pleasure chambers, torture cells and what not. Nothing was bad enough for him which he did not read and tried in practice. Being an avid reader and voyeur of the night life, whenever he visited a city, he used to know only three types of places---bookshops, bars and pleasure houses!
    Gradually the shine of wine and woman lost its sparkle and there remained only the quest for ‘knowledge.’ As books too became scarce, and also his level of quest had gone still deeper, he now preferred and sought the company of masters. He sought them in the far flung corners of the country. He visited the holy places of all religions, as no distinction existed in his mind. He also had the rare privilege at those places to have ‘darsan’ (being at the lotus feet of the holy masters) ---of the ‘enlightened’ ones’, who actually had the elements in their control! This far, however, he was an atheist especially to this aspect of the divinity that no human being could be God incarnate! All this transpired much before his fiasco in marriage, which anyway (mis-) happened at age twenty eight and half.
    By age 42, he had encountered quite a few phenomena in life, which very fortunate few are destined to witness and have ‘glimpses’ of. Accidents, physical ailments---due to excessive drinking, constant financial ups and downs, serious litigations on murder charges, dismissal from service---and subsequent re-instatement through the intervention of the High Court---suspension from service etc, were some of the varied experiences his colorful life went through. A permanent black spot on character, a fortunate or a misadventure at age thirty-two lead ultimately to another phase in life. A very understanding young girl, sequel to the ‘protected marriage’ failure, entered as second life partner in his life. His first marriage was a complete disaster, especially for the wife. She was very devout and a pious lady, but he was a mismatch for her. They had two handsome sons but nothing seemed to go right. Their constant mutual accusations and fighting in their presence had the most disastrous effects on the congenial development of their minds. The l.s. still carries a burden in his conscience, which is of irreparable regret and repentance and shall go with him to the pyre. This repentance or remorse is not because of their mismatch or the ultimate separation of ways, but due to the fact that he felt he was the cause of spoiling the lives of two ladies---what ever the merit or demerits of their entry in his life may have been! He thought that he should have adopted the way---which he later chose, the God’s way; instead of seeking the solace of another woman. He never was a women’s commodity. He paid a heavy price for being a family man: in terms of health, wealth, intellectual blockage, and above all wastage of precious time and energy in playing the roles he was hardly equipped or destined for. This side of his character is also reflective in his life till age forty two: as neither he could be an honest officer, nor completely a dishonest one; neither moral nor immoral; neither wise nor the dumb! He was the mixture of all these negative and positive tendencies, till the door of the Divinity was opened to him and floodgates of effulgent rays cushioned his ultimate plunge in the chasm of the unknown depths!
    Last edited by little-self; 06-15-2017 at 08:30 PM.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

  2. #62
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    An Aside.....13
    Financial responsibilities of three families: being the only bread earner of a big family---fathers’ legacy or his destiny’s un-discharged debt: constant feuds with big bosses, politicians and the resultant drunken brawls---were some of the common features of his daily life till age twenty four and half. Every morning when he got up, the biggest surprise for him used to be, that he was still alive! All the accompanying vices continued, excepting extramarital relationships, though in moderation till he was forty two.
    Despite this alienated behavior, his passion for reading and risky adventures, putting life to brimming extremes, were his usual pastimes. Reading philosophical works, especially abstract thoughts, was a passion with him, which he relished most. Incidentally it still persists in him, though in a different mode. Now he composes them impromptu. He had developed high degree of imagination, and simultaneously its contrast, the ‘killers’ instinct. Reading for ten to eighteen hours in a day was quite normal a routine, excepting during the days, which were though rare, he was down with the morning hangovers. This routine lasted for twenty-four years, excepting, of course, the lean periods when he was posted on non-lucrative posts. This period in modern lingo can also be described as the ‘five stars’ or ‘jet set’ culture. During this period he had acquired a mammoth data that were systematically stored in the memory chambers of his brain---subject wise and in chronological order. He had a top class memory. In a ‘limited’ sense he was a ‘walking’ encyclopedia, and this was not a shallow boast! There was not a subject about whose available knowledge he was not aware of! (But he was very poor in grammar and still is!). And this helped him in his, occasional bouts of seclusions. His imagination powered him to create, in his mind, his own imaginative ‘worlds’, after getting exhausted by exploring the existing ones.
    Then everything changed: This rationalist atheist was confronted with the ‘manifestation’ of Divinity in human form. His whole world changed. The evil streak in him---which would ruin whosoever came into his contact, suddenly took an about turn. The ‘self’ that consumed all that came its way, transformed the course of its quest. Earlier its every endeavor was aimed at negating the existence of God, now it got diverted to Him. Perhaps subconsciously he had been preparing his little self for this very purpose! As without firstly acquiring the known knowledge of the worldly sciences, hidden knowledge (intelligence) cannot be known. By knowing the physical sciences, inner ‘knowledge’ reveals itself, because the conscious that pervades the cosmos, permeates the individual cells too.
    The first thing that he did thereafter was, to de-hoard all the data that had been acquired so strenuously during the last twenty-four years of his life. This exercise continued during the next sixteen years of his period in service. As soon as he realized the fullness of its travails and enormity, he preferred to quit his job and sought premature voluntary retirement. Now he is relishing its aftermaths---the enjoining fruits. From worldly point of view, it was an extreme step, as there was every hope of his being promoted to the last but one step of the departmental hierarchy, that of the head of the dep’t. And he had been cleared for the next promotion during the last days of the expiry of the three months’ notice. Before putting in his papers, he had been manning four very important branches of the department: three of which carried the price tag of Rs. 50-100 (appx.100, 000Dollars) lacs each, as bribe to the political bosses. This was the going price in those days.
    Since January 87, i.e., ten years before he demitted his office, his life had been spotless in every respect. This was not a sudden decision---that of being honest. He had started its practice much earlier. From eighty-two (1982), since Divinity had ‘entered’ his life in ‘living’ form, the days of his vagrancy were over! Very few people believed that his ongoing transformation was real. Even those who were very close to him doubted his intentions, right till the end---when he quit his job.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

  3. #63
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    An Aside.....14
    The most interesting episode of his post retirement period is that though he has been leading a life of an honest person since 1987, the’ parasites’ whom he nurtured once and had discarded during his prime times, still believed him to be worth 100 billions rupees. Because going by the life styles of his former colleagues and the plum postings he held during the long tenure of his service, this is a very conservative figure. The rates of illegal gratification in a prosperous state like Punjab, were really very high, but quite normal considering the level of corruption in other spheres of public life including politicians, bureaucrats, especially the IAS, PCS and State Services; Police, especially IPS and State cadre officers; Judiciary in general, leaving aside a few amongst the higher hierarchy. This moral pollution and religiosity morass has seeped deep into the lives of the high middle class.
    Opting out of such a situation and above all being reconciled with the changing atmosphere is very difficult and revolting, especially for the family members and the friendly circle. One is totally outcast by the society; scorned and hated. Even behavior of the loved ones is no different. For a struggling aspirant, it was a life of a forced converted ascetic, who need not seek secluded caves as the society itself becomes a hell of a cell!
    But for the ‘little-self’ this was not an un-treaded path or a novel experience, as he had always cherished only one dream and that was to be just alone in the deepest conscious of the Self of his self. Even when he was drunk and lost, he loved the company of his self, though at that time he did not know its ‘meaning’. Today even without intoxicants, he is enjoying the inexplicable joys that an enlightened Self can bestow, in howsoever infinitesimal quantum It is ‘activated’. He is not a yogi or an enlightened soul; but surely, without the inherent burden of the self (individual), his inner-Self often ‘bestows’ him glimpses, which transport him into blissful swoons, lasting sometimes for days together. It is all His blessing and the ‘glimpse’ of His grace!
    Life has not been easy and rosy, even after the advent of the Master in his life! From the worldly point of view he had to go through much harder times. Even during the formative period, i.e. from 1982 till January 1987, when he finally awakened to the call of his conscience and bid goodbye to his half-hearted, mid-way path; that of neither being totally honest or dishonest. He was not able to stoop so low to accept or share booty from ill-gotten money usurped from the sale of those essential commodities, which were meant for the poor. Wheat and rice worth crores of rupees were siphoned off from the railway rakes at the dispatching stations by short loading with the connivance of the railways and Food Corporation’s authorities. Even essential commodities which were hardly consumed in prosperous state of Punjab were not spared. Kerosene oil, sugar, wheat, wheat atta (flour), pulses and other essential commodities, not lifted by the upper strata of the society, were sold in the black market and the loot was equally distributed amongst the corrupt elements. This monthly collection ran into crore(billions) of rupees in each district of the state. That is the reason that to get a post as district head, i.e. as District Food and Supplies Controller, in any ‘A’ class district, the asking price used to be between Rs 50 lakhs to 100 lakhs(appx.100,000dollars). He has the first hand knowledge, because he had been on such postings for over ten years.
    I have to give a glimpse of his past life not to soil the clean minds of the good hearted people but to establish his credentials with those elite who will understand only the language they are familiar with. Like him, recounting that period of his life is very painful for me, because it is full of trash and filth, which I would not like to uncover to soil my conscience too. Not that conscience is such a fragile ‘object’ that would shatter just with the waves of thoughts, howsoever pernicious these might be. But dirt always leaves behind dirt, whatever precautions one may take.
    The price that every conscientious person has to pay, who is smitten with the bug of conscience, was not enough to deter him from the chosen path. Like others, he too was forsaken by everyone, including the ‘dear ones’. Even his closest friends never had complete trust in his integrity and honesty. Every honest person has a tale of turbulence and trials. So it is needless to repeat the same old stories.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

  4. #64
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    An Aside.....15
    But the biggest trauma of his life was, when he was labeled a butcher in the department where earlier he had enjoyed a tag of popularity and generosity. It so happened that while small surviving breed of honest senior officers used his skills and honesty in cleansing the system, which obviously resulted in a spate of dismissals and suspensions, on the other hand the corrupt bureaucrats and politicians used his skills and expertise for their own nefarious designs. They used him to catch the big fish, so that they could later devour them and let them off the net by destroying the case files or by awarding them minor punishments. This stratagem not only filled their coffers but brought in their net all the remaining corrupt elements of the department too; and they enjoyed the riches like Maharajas at his cost. This was intolerable indeed for a ‘person’ who had stood his ground and had never let any temptation distract him from his chosen path, or self-imposed discipline. It was not worn around the body like ornaments but like a tight noose of non-indulgence which was self-willed, and subsequently helped in mastering the mind to the extent humanly possible.
    Let us have a preview of the present state of the consciousness that his present ‘person’ beholds, known as the ‘little self’. The purpose is not to glorify him but to remove any misgivings of his comrade brothers who mistakenly label themselves as atheists. One amongst many of their notions about the negative role of the religion is that it makes the ‘believers’ live a life of illusions, besides indulging in Hadh-Yog Sadhnas (extreme body endurance practices for the realization of the Self) of self denials. According to them, a religious person’s mindset is always tainted with self-hypnosis to the extent of compelling him to adopt a pessimistic attitude in life. What a preposterous mis-statement!
    Let us begin with the state of mind of the ‘person’ at age thirty-two, because that was the age when the course of his quest turned vertically, from his utopia of superficial super-ego to the real life reality. Till so far he had been compromising his ‘real’ i.e. normal life with the make-believe life. Whatever he had actually wanted to be or do somehow had always been superimposed with the wishes of others. Just for the sake of making the lives of his ‘dear ones’ more comfortable, he invariably found his own desires being pushed under the carpet. His real “i’ was always the victim of circumstances, resulting in unfulfilled desires, unbaked ambitions, constantly falling short of his goals. Though he had equipped himself with impeccable tools and was capable enough to achieve any ambition in the mundane life or attain to any intellectual heights, but alas this was not to be! However he could not change his inner voice, which impelled him to help others, give his dear ones the first priority, and make way for others! In nutshell he never really lived for himself, but for others. He was made that way. People around him however had different view. For them he was the re-incarnation of Satan, who ruthlessly crushed the feelings of others and lived only for the fulfillment of his sensual desires. But it was also a hard fact he laundered more than eighty percent of his ill-gotten money on others, whether they were his near or dears or strangers.
    Whatever I know of him, he always wanted to have a beautiful woman around him, who had to be of simple demeanor, but intellectually of high standard, with whom he could have long discourses on Reality, origin of life and Creation etc! Three women came into his life but he could click with none, at intellectual plane. Perhaps psychologist would surmise that he was married to his ideal (-lism).
    His marriage was a disaster, from day one. Imagine a person like him who was used to the western lifestyle, yet—marrying a woman without having looked at her even once. He married the woman, who was three years senior. She was chosen for him by his eldest sister. It was to appease his father, who had forsaken his food till he agreed. He has had not a morsel of food for three days and was determined to continue his fast!
    Another woman had entered his life---five years after the first fiasco. She was exactly like him and, in a way, they shared many commonalties especially the negative traits, viz. disrespect for life, whether be it of others or theirs’: scant regard for values: least consideration for relations: suicidal tendencies: no vision. Though he had two sons from his first wife and was thirty six, playing with life and death, putting life, money, carrier and bonds of human relationship at risk to the point of no return were their playthings, which they heartily relished! They hated the society and above all, their ownselves. Since they understood each other’s shortcomings and mental deprivations, they decided to share their lives and become the partners-in-life. Nothing less nothing more! An unwritten agreement, between two outcasts of society! And to hell with that society! They were really a wonderful couple! That she would prove a wonderful companion and play the role of a Bhaaratiya’s Nari (an orthodox Indian women) was, something he had never imagined and bargained for! They were aware that they did not, perhaps could never love each other yet they opted for each other! A unique example of western influence that had just entered our lives and had started sucking the jugular veins of our culture, which had stood the test of times and preserved the finer sensitivities in this society thus far.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

  5. #65
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    An Aside.....16
    Why she chose to become a second-class citizen for a person, whom she did not love, has always puzzled the l.s! Each of them carried their burden, which they did without any remorse. Only much later in life, she developed qualms of conscience, when she also surrendered herself to the Master. Strangely, this sort of problems never bothered the l.s. although his conscience had been ‘activated’ to its optimum level. Howsoever due to later compulsions they had to put a legal seal to their ‘relationship’, not that they cared, so for I know them. We Indians are a great hypocrite tribe. In our country there are different rules for different religions, castes and creeds, even if its constitution speaks otherwise. If one wants to dodge the law, one has simply to change the stamp of religion, pasted on him by virtue of his birth. That subterfuge worked for the l.s. also. An act which was sacrilegious and unlawful in one religion was permitted in the other. What a society?
    Women, passion, sensuality, relationship in any form had no meaning in his life. No women could claim to have played any significant role in the making or de-making of his life. Male or female were simple genders to him. They were not individuals with faces, but mere objects to fulfill his needs of body, mind, intellect and emotions.
    His needs were different, as were his goals. Unlike others he did not click at physical temptations. His only interests were in fields---not individuals---that inspired him to attain ‘heights’ in life, and made him happy and at peace within his-self. Mere material objects or individuals, howsoever precious, rare or beautiful; these had no relevance in his life. He knew that everything in the material world carried a price tag and he could afford to buy them at will. Therefore passion for objects was, merely an aberration with him, not the objective of his life. Much early in life, old masters had taught him that beauty was not in the limbs of a body, nor happiness could be derived from material possessions. Its realms were far beyond them. It lies much deeper, within our own selves! He was therefore happy, only in the company of the masters, whether they were of the spiritual or the mundane domains, who had attained intellectual heights and could stir in him his hidden potential. He did not believe that any master could directly instill in him his gems of wisdoms. Because he knew even at the age of his early twenties that, first of all, knowledge of the ephemeral objective world was necessary to equip himself with the intellectual tools, which would ultimately lead him to the depths of the Universal Intelligence. For him the end of his trail was not in mastering the knowledge of the objective world or in its possessions, nor in their indulgence. Revered masters, like Socrates, Plato, Aristotle and the enigmatic hero of Mahaabhaarath, Lord Krshan, had shaped his destiny! He refused to accept the theory of re-incarnation however, and to establish this fact he had to prove it, not by denigrating Him or rejecting His ‘identity’. This is an easy escape route for the ignoramuses and not of the ‘thinkers.’ Thus for the realization of his aim---that there is no life after death---he had to do a lot of research. Such learning makes one enlightened: By acquiring degrees one becomes an intellectual or a scholar, which he never wanted to be. His aim was not to conquer the world or ‘know’ it, but to know its ‘Maker.’ That was his goal; his aim! In its realization he has spent his life. His worries, travails, sufferings have been not due to non-fulfillment of worldly desires, because there were none he could not have fulfilled or had not already indulged into: Rather overindulgence had worn him out. He could never assume the role of a tragic hero throughout his life, as there was never an occasion for this ‘celebrated’ role because nothing was ever out of his reach. People, and objects, came into his life, played their part or fulfilled their desired role and made their exit. That’s all the human relationship meant to him! Individuals were not important; neither the pleasures of sensual indulgence. These were merely the means of letting off the leashed energies, which keep accumulating, especially in those individuals who are engaged in the pursuits of higher sciences of Nature and its secret tools. They were means and not the end results of his quest. Later this fact gets evident in his writings also, when he turned ‘writer’. The characters in his novels were not individuals but the multifarious aspects of Nature and its creations, which got their expression through the personifications of individuals.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

  6. #66
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    An Aside.....17
    For him there was no society worth its name. Therefore abiding its customs, traditions and superficial values, was out of question. Who creates them and for whom? Laws, traditions, values are there because of people and for people. Whatever be the nature of its inhabitants, so are their values. These vary according to people, regions and climes. Therefore these cannot be eternal and universal. Whatever people---or read leaders---create is always subject to change, whims of the elite that govern them. Geniuses, artists, spiritual masters, philosophers, scholars or the good elements of society have never ruled them. People have never been the masters of their lives. Only minuscule part of society, governing elite, has been controlling their lives. Where they live; what and how much they eat; how they dress up; whether be illiterate or scholar; what are their needs and how much to give; standard of life; material possessions; etc. are decided by the few. Even the quality of lives, heath, and intellectual growth of the people is controlled by them. How illogical that only 1-2percentage of our society decides the fate of the majority. That Nature decides our destiny is also a hoax since it is willfully played on us in the guise of religion, laws, justice, constitution and patriotism. These pills of wisdom, so assiduously prescribed for the people at large, ought to have been applied equally and proportionately on the perpetrators too. Obviously this has never happened. The l.s. believed in that society which was composite of all its constituents, irrespective of caste, creed, color and religion. But the society he was living in, was utterly corrupt, immoral, hypocrite and believed in Goddess of money alone. Everyone was hankering after money. There was a mad race to amass and there were no holds barred. The so-called elite were obsessed with it. They were ready to give in anything; repeat---anything in exchange. Even personal honor was trifle before its glitter. It was law of jungle prevailing, all-round. Money was power; all else was of valueless. He had seen people, rich people trading their wives and sisters for promoting their business empires. Where there was so much muck around, he could not be expected to honor the values of such a society. He abhorred the company he lived in; hated the spineless law---its dispensers and protectors. All were corrupt and given to sensual over-indulgence. There was complete disregard for the values, by the very persons who were their promoters. As he hated such persons, he also hated the values they propagated from high pedestals. Of course he knew all this because he was their honorary associate.
    He was so full of hatred that it spared none. He carried it since childhood. First, it was against these relatives who had conspired to usurp the lucrative business of his father. Overnight their worldly fortunes turned to worst. From multi-millions empire, his father was left without business. He did not mind the sudden poverty, as they still owned some valuable assets, but hated their treachery and audacity with which they went about their ill-designs which this society not only ignored but instead honored them.
    He always wanted to do Ph.D. in philosophy so as to become a professor and work in some remote hilly area. This was his dream, which was never to be! He was only fifteen when all of a sudden he found himself supporting a large family of brothers and sisters besides the parents. His father tried his luck in some business ventures but he was not trained to run petty enterprises, as he was adept only in running big business with big money. So, wisely he said goodbye to business dreams and in his place a lad of fifteen was made to wear the mantle of ‘head-of-the-family’. Although he had two other elder brothers, but how he found himself in the new role, is something still beyond his comprehension. His eldest brother, who was helping his father in business, and had conspired with his uncle in usurping the business, was worth lacs (in early forties) at the time. All of them had contrived to get his mother’s signature on some documents, which were in fact the ownership transfer papers. With the signing of those papers, his mother had sealed the fate of the entire family. As a result his second uncle became the owner of Burma Shell and I.C.I agencies. In those days these two were the major business companies of the British Empire in India, and his father was their sole distributor in the area. However their ownership was in the name of his mother. Instead of reprimanding his younger brother for this stratagem, his father, in frustration transferred other assets in his name as well! Previous to this his father had already gifted the joint family business to the same greedy person. After these episodes his father once again established a good business house, but this time his eldest son became the benefactor of his largesse. His father was a strong willed, of strong body, obstinate and a generous man. Other people took advantage of his generosity, which the family had to suffer. The l.s. had also imbibed his father’s qualities, and had, like his father, threw away, many a times, the fruits of his hard labor to the greedy ‘dear ones.’
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

  7. #67
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    An Aside.....18
    By the time he cleared matriculation, he had apprenticed in the tanning course in a Govt. institute. Belonging to high caste Brahman family---not that he gave a damn to these inhibitions---he had joined this institute incognito, simply to earn a monthly stipend Rs.15. He also did some petty jobs in the post office, on ad hoc basis. Luckily the postmaster was their neighbor and sensing the plight of their family, used to engage him on daily wages against those postmen, who used to proceed on leave. He had no inhibition in doing such menial jobs. Rather it gave him immense pleasure that he was of some use to his family.
    They were a close-knit family. Everyday the evening sessions lasted till late in the night, when they used to give vent to their frustrations. It always had a happy ending. This gave them hope and visions of a bright future for all of them. They never thought about their individual self. It was always jointly for them all.
    He was only sixteen and a half when he joined the state government job as a clerk. Nobody questioned his underage, as his real uncle was the minister of the department. His ambition however to become the professor went awry in this struggle for survival.
    He got three rapid promotions and was posted as an Incharge of District Foodgrains Laboratory, when he was just nineteen years old with practically no experience of the world. But he was considered a very efficient analyst in the quality control branch. In the meanwhile he had also developed the habit of reading the English novels. Soon his interest in literature graduated to reading the works of the western masters. Then an incident happened, which completely changed the course of his life.
    His family was under debt of a government department and some other lenders as well. His elder brother had taken some loan from the Industries department, whose yearly installments had not been paid for over three years. All of a sudden recovery notice came through the court orders. They had no alternative except to pay back the due loan along with the compound interest. His father rushed to him to save his brother from being arrested. Till that time he was honest to bones, morally and mentally. His was the lonely example in the department, for complaining against a rice mill owner for offering him bribe. The miller along with an inspector of the department was punished for the act. But the l.s was in a quandary now. He could not refuse his father the help he sought from him. He led his own son to dishonesty, even though he himself had properties which were worth lacs (millions) in those days! (As a result of these properties, the family again became millionaire, because their value had gone up. This is another story). All through his life he has never for a day been reconciled to corruption. But a tide of destiny had swept all his idealism and thrown asunder the finer sensitivities, which his mother and elder sister had so assiduously nurtured in him.
    Soon the family expenses rose up resulting in demands for more money. He could not ask for money from anybody either as loan or bribe. To mop up guts, he started drinking, a habit that kept his company till 1981.
    His childhood had been spoilt by poverty and internal family feuds with the second uncle, who with the help of his Machiavellian sons had swept the rug of affluence from under them. His youth was snatched by the burden of financial worries. His elder brother on the other hand, had the unique knack of always engaging himself in losing business ventures, which not only ate up the principal investments, but burdened them with more loans and unpaid credits etc.
    His eldest sister also played a substantial role in increasing his burdens by marrying off two of his younger brothers, who being dependent, were still living with their parents. They were unemployed, doing absolutely no work. Instead of alleviating his burden, rather they aggravated it by indulging themselves in litigation, brawls, womanizing and boozing---curtsy his beloved parents and the respected eldest sister! (Incidentally his elder sister had taken to Sanyaas-renunciation-in her youth). His conscience too had been corrupted by bribe, booze and brawls. So he became a rebel and fought back the society, by negating it, taunting its ethics, its codes of conduct, and openly challenging its peers. He hated the society, its inhabitants, and he also hated himself!
    Last edited by little-self; 06-29-2017 at 02:37 AM.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

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    An Aside.....19
    One fine morning, when he was twenty-four and a half, he received termination orders of his service although he had put in more than nine years of service with excellent record. The new Chief Minister of the state of Punjab passed these orders as his first edict after taking oath of his office. He had some personal grudge against him. At the time he had some money (a few lacs) that he laundered away in a hotel venture. Again, as usual, no bank balances no cars, no palatial mansions! A blank man with blank pockets! However he got some respite from the fast paced life, which he had been leading for the last five years. During those years he experienced a life, which could be an envy of any big Don. He had outstretched himself beyond his wildest imagination. When he reviewed his life, he realized he had nothing more to live for. There were no desires left to be fulfilled, no dreams to be realized! He had lived his life. Then what it was to aim for or look forward to? Only a mirage in the smog of an empty mind! Life became a burden without a purpose. Burnt out ambers create only shaky mirages, which leave behind only ashes of bad, stale memories. Nothing is bitter than stagnation in life. A directionless mind is like a rudderless boat in the vast expanse of the Samsaarik (worldly) ocean. Amen.
    After the advent of the master in his life everything changed, not physically, but his entire standpoint had gone through a sea change. Now without taking any intoxicants, he is enjoying, however infinitesimal, the indescribable joys that only an enlightened self can envision and relish. Attaining to this level of consciousness at the age of fifty has not been easy journey. But one thing is definite; Godly path is the easiest path. Each act that we conduct for the betterment of our lives involves additional burden of material objects. As we grow in worldly sense, affluence brings with it material comforts and we go on accumulating extra modern luxuries, which fill every available space in our home or working place. Similarly our minds also get filled with the junk. But as soon as the direction of the mind changes towards God, we start shedding this junk till our stores and the minds are emptied of the junk materials and the irreverent data. We free ourselves completely and what remains is, the real, blemish less Self---which is our real identity (i.e., ‘I’)
    The effect of the divine impact and its manifestation in the human form had such a direct jolt on his persona, that very perceptible change had an impact on his daily life as well as on his mindset. The acquired knowledge, which is falsely assumed as ‘intellect’ is, no more than mere data, unless it is discriminately assimilated in our daily life. When there is no difference between the word and the deed, righteousness prevails and the intellect having performed its function, assumes the form of wisdom. Wisdom is nothing but the present, which is omnipresent. The highest state of meditation is to be in the ‘present’ which is the recognition of real ‘I’ that is ‘Aathma’, Soul, Spirit---a synthesis of senses, mind and intellect; the practical state of wisdom. This realization is also called Self-realization; it is nothing but the finest state of our inner-self, achieved through the composition of the trinity: body-mind-intellect. Now what is so super-natural or miraculous about this? Only high sounding words, tittles, prefixes, abstract definitions, and scholarly language; all these simply confuse the seeking minds!

    When he reached the age of sixty, the body had not dampened his spirit of seeking. But he has reached that ‘state’ where he does not have any more to seek, in spiritual realms too. He no longer has any doubts. All his queries stand answered. He does not have any more questions. He is at peace. He knows his goal and his path. It all depends on the seriousness and sincerity, with which he pursues his goal. Most of the time he revels in Divine Grace and if he is able to transform these ‘glimpses’ into permanent state of Bliss, is again dependant on his own sincere commitment and devotional urge to merge in that ocean.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

  9. #69
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    An Aside.....20
    The binding, as well as the illumination ‘factor’ is--- Divinity---which is inherent everywhere! When a seeker has realized this ‘knowledge’, his mental state is beyond description. Even he, himself cannot describe the heights of joy he is experiencing, during all the time; he is attuned to or reveling in the Self! As the Self is, of the nature of bliss, any one who has experienced, even Its’ momentary ‘glimpse’ is immersed in Its eternal joys. He attains an enviable state of bliss!
    The l.s. has been experiencing Its ‘effects’ off and on, for the last 21 years, since his mind took the U-turn and became aware of the Divine-Incarnation in human form! Till that time, he was not ready to accept the very ‘concept’ of Divine Incarnations of all the Divine Ones, belonging to all the religions! Often the glimpses of the Self, are more lasting, then it becomes unbearable for the mortal body and the mind to behold and absorb the ‘grace of bliss’, as the l.s., is not that spiritually advanced nor his cushions are that strong. He is left with only one recourse to pray to the Master; to either unshackle the Self from the body, or lift off the ‘link’!
    It is a fact that the ‘experiencer’ more often seeks for the release of the Self from the body. It is just not palatable or even logical to come back to tasteless vagaries of the mind, from the ocean of Bliss! Once the subject has the ‘glimpse/experience’ of the bliss, he has no taste left for the worldly pleasures and joys. There is simply no substitute for the blissful state. Once smitten, one gets hooked for life. That is the reason, no Brahman-Jnaani or a realised Yogi, remains in physical body, after the realization of the Self (Aathma).
    Believe me the little selfs’s “I” doesn’t like to stay in his sick body. His “I” wants release! It is not out of desperation, dejection or isolation, nor can it be termed as a negative urge to escape from life. On the contrary, he feels completely, self-contended and at peace in his body. No more goals to achieve, no more desires; as he has had more than he deserved and ever dreamt of! Most of the time his cup of life is over brimming with bliss: he simply cannot withstand the onslaughts of divine ‘waves’. Continuous wafts of joy make his inner-self (Jeevi) self-reliant, self-contented and unshackled from the world. One simply disassociates from the world and enjoys the joyous company of the Self. It is simply very difficult to describe; not the Self, but Its Source! But who wants to know more?
    Here enter the doubting fence sitters and the elite intellectuals! They want to know the authenticity of these ‘experiences’! Whether we are answerable to these doubting Thomas’s, is a genuine excuse for the ‘ascetics’ to keep away from them! The l.s. is of the opinion that it is our duty and responsibility to share ‘knowledge’ of the Self, with the genuine seekers, because unless we do so, how would they be knowing the ‘potential’ beyond the ‘annihilation/nihilism’ state of the intellect? Even we ourselves are not always sure of the ‘existence’ of the Self! Fundamentally it is the mind, which questions the ‘Being’ of the Self. How are we to know, whether these ‘experiences’ of the Self are genuine!
    Very simple! Purely by experiencing the universality of the Self, the ‘experiencer’ is satisfied. How do we know that the ‘experience’ is really cosmic in nature and content? Again very simple! The cosmic-Self is ‘aware’ of the cosmos: that the ‘awareness’ of the ‘experiencer’ becomes cosmic, thus he becomes Gyatha---the knower of past, present and future of Cosmos/Creation! His state at that time is that of everlasting Bliss, which the nature of Brahman and the Self is.
    The journey has been long, self effacing, self sacrificing---of total surrender of body, mind and the intellectual attachments. A tall order for a worldly man, but a realisable, feasible and attainable Karamu(activity/seva); which each one of us should strive for, so as to attain the envious heights of self-purification. A state where all material things: joys of the world: even the realms of the world itself, become meaningless, stale, and trash! The l.s. shall omit all details and niceties, which enable us to realize these heights, as these have already been exhaustively shared in his previous book “Quest In Reality”. In the present ‘work’, the endeavor is to delve into the extremity of intellect, so as to be able to share and jointly undertake the journey that leads to Self---thereby to substantiate the authenticity of Self, and Its realization in our own selves! That an ordinary mind is as good as that of an ascetic, for the realization of ‘his’ Self, with all Its’ splendor! One should not be disheartened by the vagaries of the mind or its tools of imagination and fantasizing, which are so devious in deluding the intellect; it becomes very difficult to differentiate between real and the unreal
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

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    An Aside.....21
    The realization that our reality is (Supreme) Intelligence: There is not an iota of doubt that the intelligence (intellect) in us is the same Intelligence! Theoretically this is a simple statement, but its conviction (awareness) takes many lives Sadhna (self-enquiry). As soon as this realization dawns, the results are wonderful---beyond description. One simply becomes free, whole and complete! He simply accepts the ‘being’ of the creations of the ephemeral world as normal (natural). We are, so we are! Nature is, so Nature is! One becomes aware of their (creations) ‘existence’; meaning, we do not relate our-self with them. We do not see them from our point of view (intellect). By accepting them is, by knowing them. We learn about a ‘thing’ only when we have complete knowledge of it. Having ‘knowledge’ of the ‘thing’ is, having complete awareness of that ‘thing’. Meaning, the substance is more important than the projection. Our substance is not the gross conscious, nor the mind, nor the intellect: these are merely the data-bank of the phenomenal worlds’ knowledge that our senses have been able to gather. Knowing or becoming aware of this fact, automatically puts the observing ‘agency’ at the higher level. That is, we become aware of our limited minds’ sphere of knowledge. This fact is known, when our intellect stops posing as mind and retains its original state, that of intelligence. Similarly the human intelligence---activated conscious-(discriminated) knowledge, having realized its limit, or becoming aware of this very fact, puts it at its higher pedestal of Cosmic-Consciousness. The state, if it can be called that (!) at that moment, is of ‘complete’ universal-awareness! Of freedom and bliss: There is constant ‘feeling’ (experience) of total awareness; no thought, no mind! One is blessed with the persistent ‘feelings’ of unending ecstasy. No subject wants to come down (back) from this ‘experience’. It is the experience of Divinity, there is no doubt about it! All are welcome to the ‘club’ of Divine. One does not have to go places for enrolment. It is within ‘us’. Rather we are It-Self. Anyone who has, even once felt the bliss of this Divine glimpse or experience, he is hooked forever. No other joy would make him happy. One feels so useless, lifeless, limp and empty bag without It. The complete feeling of freedom makes the subject one with Divine. This is not an ‘experience’ of an addict! The l.s. ‘knows’ about that too, having experienced the effects of various drugs. If any one doubts the authenticity of these experiences, then they are not pursuing the journey of spiritualism, hence is not a genuine sadhak. Then no comment!
    The l.s. is not narrating a novel or a treatise on philosophy. He also knows about hallucination, fantasizing, imagination, day dreaming and about self-induced hypnosis. He knows from first hand experience with this wily fellow---the mind. He has passed through the rigors of Sadhna, Tapas (sacrifices) and intense self-enquiry. He learnt at the lotus feet of the masters, scriptures and above all, through personal experiences. He could never become a teacher, but only a sadhak, a seeker and a learner. He cannot preach but can only follow and imbibe the teachings in his personal life. During the last twelve years of his service career, he lived upto the teachings of His Master---by precept and practice. While his colleagues were minting money every year, he lived off his pay. He was surrounded by a corrupt system, but lived a life of an ascetic. He did not make a show of his principles, but presented a personal example of those teachings, without uttering a word about them. Glory be to Him, it all belongs to Him. Why pose or boast, all that there is, all belong to Him. He is the Original-Owner, not us mortals who are transitory tenants.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

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    An Aside.....22
    The biggest problem of the sadhak ( disciple) is that he is more like a plunderer. Both face the problem of plenty. Only difference is in the ‘capacity’ of their containers. Whereas the coffers of the plunderer are filled to the brim, still he remains unsatisfied and hungry for more possessions. But on the other hand, the container (body) of a sadhak proves insufficiently equipped to ‘contain’ the ever increasing splendor of the Lord! His midget self gets easily ‘filled’, as thus feels helpless to receive/bear His grace any more. He/she prays for release, whereas the former craves for more years to plunder more and more.
    Even now, the body of the l.s. stands over flowed with constant cascades of bliss! (Incidentally while typing this line, the l.s. was actually in the ‘state’! Glory be unto Him!). Over brimming with joy, I am unable to continue writing---. God s great; let all brethren be blessed alike. Amen.
    ------
    Whatever the l.s has experienced or known of the glory of the Self or Its effulgence is, the result of transforming into practice the teachings of the masters. Nobody can help a seeker; not even the master, in his quest, as it is one-to-one involvement. He is One, so His realization is also for one/single entity at a time. Heart to heart relationship is always individual and between two persons. It is the individual self that yearns for its real/original-Self, which is one-to-one relationship. As no other person can enjoy or suffer the fruits of our Karmas (deeds/actions), so too, others ---however realised they are, can gain access to His realms, on others’ behalf! Spiritualism is highly individualistic path, for it involves, exclusively, one’s own body-senses-mind-intellect. It is our body, one has to master/control. It is one’s own intellect, which has to be channeled and diverted. Frankly speaking, if one really desires to know one’s reality, one should throw away all books and cleanse the intellect of all the ‘finer theories’ and one should chalk out one’s own trail and reach the destination by self efforts only. No body teaches us anything; it is our own intellect, which extends itself and expands its horizons. By self-learning and self endeavor, nothing is unachievable!
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

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    (We continue with our Inner Search)

    Infinite Brahmand
    Finite Universe. If Brahmand—Infinite space/Cosmos is infinite, the universes which take shape into It are finite! This aspect has been discussed quite exhaustively in my previous book, so there will now be a brief preview of that vision:
    Any material object that exists or ever existed in Nature reflects its image in space, along with its life principle—sound. These images get permanently embedded in particles in the form of vibrations and radiations. The canopy of consciousness that surrounds the material formations of the universe is verily the panoramic grand picture view (history) of its existence. After each Big-Crunch (Prahlah/Annihilation), this grand view gets compressed in super-dense (Supreme-Casual) particle, i.e. in its original state of statelessness. Thereafter a big-bang slowly revolves and expands the latent view into a gigantic universe. Having again exhausted its intelligence, by living out its memory through its material projection (Creation), it goes back (Big-Crunch) in its original condition. This cycle continues unabated.
    The above hypothesis is based on the assumption that the Brahmand is infinite and the universes born into it, on their own volition, i.e. self-sustaining, self-cycled principle, are finite. That reveals; the Brahmand has no memory (intelligence), whereas the Nature (universe) does possess it. As the memory has to live out its compressed desires (thoughts or vasanavan-tendencies), through their material projections—hence the Creation!
    Now suppose the Supreme-Casual aspect of each universe (Nature) in its subtlest state gets materialized into a single-living-entity, besides permeating in Its projected Creation, this proposition does not seem logical! At the same time it would have to be accepted, no part of its creation can exist without its properties having been ingrained in them, for basically these are its creations. Or it can be surmised, the elementary qualities, which are imbibed by all; when these get fully conscious in One entity, while remaining in latent state in the rest of the creations, this wonder of Divine manifestation poses a diet for the elite class/intellectuals!
    An illustration: After what the scientists describe, the Big-Crunch, matter is annihilated, all mass, both, subtle and gross, gets compressed into a super-dense particle, i.e., the total intelligence (conscious) in its casual state is enclosed in a single-cell: in layman’s language, it may be called the Original-Particle(Seed). Suppose this seed transmutes itself directly into a biological cell, there should not be any hue and cry from the scientific world. Biological chips are already on cards. The only objection this fraternity can raise is that this transmutation has not gone through the rudimentary process of evolution.
    However too much credence should not be given to the popular theory of big-bang, as there is already an entirely contradictory theory in the offing; that big-bang never happened! It is, as being proved, the figment of imagination! There is another, more interesting scenario: Original-Particle did not split like an atom, but it produced its duplicate, while still retaining its originality of wholeness. Its duplicates again reflected its innate nature, which further went on duplicating themselves. There might be countless numbers of different categories of particles, which fall into three parental families, viz., casual, subtle, gross particles. Big-Bang did happen, but it was not the tremendous eruption of hot gasses but a cool shower of super-cool particles, which later formed into galaxies of super-dense particles, which according to their gradation of grossness, are subjected to atomic chain reaction! Rest is as the big-bangers assume! There are already 154 types of particles identified so far.
    Any particle which falls into gross family is classified as matter (manifestation of subtle particles). Peeping a little deep into the matter; its composition is of atoms, which are mostly composed of empty space, with a few specks of dust (representing electrons, protons etc.) whirring round its nucleus. Earth with its solid looking rocks and the densest of minerals are made up of atoms. Its (atom) sub-atomic particle (Neutrino) has virtually no physical properties: no mass: no electrical charge: no magnetic field: It is not attracted by gravity, nor captured or repelled by the electrical charge or by the magnet field of other particles flying past it.
    Therefore any neutrino originating in the Milky-ways, or from some other galaxy, traveling at the speed of light, can go through the solid body of the Earth as if it were an empty space. Billions of neutrinos coming from anywhere; from far off stars, galaxies, quasars or some other heavenly bodies, are streaming through our brain at any moment of our lives. (Fritjof Capra). Were it possible to squeeze all space out from all the atoms in Earth, it would be reduced to about the size of an orange!
    Our, seemingly, solid composition or that of the cosmos is nothing but full of micro particles, whose own constitution is, almost, of empty space. There is thus difference between the appearance of objects as we see them and their inner reality. The spiritualists and the scientists agree on the fact—the universe is the manifestation of primary energy. And what is at the source of that energy: It is the “inner-reality” or the “Mind/Thought”! Sir James Jens wrote in “The Mysterious Universe”:
    “Mind no longer appears as an accident intruder into the realm of matter, we are beginning to suspect that we ought rather to hail it as the Creator and Governor of the realm of matter—not, of course, of our individual minds but the Mind in which the atoms out of which our individual minds have grown, exist as thoughts—in fact substantial matter is resolving itself into a creation and manifestation of mind.”
    Last edited by little-self; 07-13-2017 at 11:10 PM.
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    And this “Mind” or “Thought” has “Willed” a design for the Creation. Everything in the universe, though, is always in the state of flux—decaying and being replaced by new ones—but still conforming to its pattern (innate nature). Dr. Harold Saxtan Burr (From “Blueprint for Immortality”) says:
    “You and I are the result of a pattern of Organization, or to put it another way, the consequence of a design. And it is very difficult to think of a piece of apparatus of any kind—whether it be an electric iron or an atom-smasher—that is not the product of the mind of a designer.”
    What it all leads us to believe is very simple: The matter is nothing but the composition of subtle particles, whose inner reality is Mind-Thought-Intelligence. This Creation is the design of that Mind. Thus the Universe or Creation is working as the design of that Mind. It is thus obvious, the particles which manifest matter are conscious, otherwise they would not fall into predestined patterns, which are parts of the over all Grand-Design. Sir Bose not only proved that “plants have reactions like that of human beings but even metals have a form of consciousness. Even at sub-atomic level, evidence of quality of life and awareness was observed”. “Scientists observe them (particles) ‘consciously’ choosing their paths—While electrons orbit an atom’s minute nucleus at phenomenal speeds, they know what other electrons are doing and react accordingly. Although distanced from their polar opposites, they appear conscious of them and reverse themselves As One when their polar partners are reversed”. (“Secret Life of Planets” by Tomkins and Bird). Even our planet is conscious and self-regulating organism! It is an old concept, only scientists are discovering it now.
    All above scientific quotes are of no consequence as these are superfluous. No scientific discovery would be worth the paper it is written on, until it finds a way to get out of ‘event horizon’ (of black hole). The total endeavor of our scientists’ research is centered round the event of Creation. This event of Creation is of little importance for the ‘thinkers’, as there might be billions other such creations! As surmised earlier, each creation is the manifestation of a Mind or Thought, which is called by different names, viz. Yahweh (Greek), Memra (Hebrew), Sorosh (Parsi), Amer (Arminian or in ancient Greek), Vak, Word, Logos, Kalameh/Kalam or Kun. The same words find more scientific expressions in the language of advanced research of the spiritualists, viz., Cosmic-Mind, Supra-Consciousness, Constant-Integrated-Awareness etc. this hypothesis further instigates us to stipulate, there ought to be a Single Consubstantial factor that subsumes all other cosmic minds. This Single-“Something” should be of the nature that does not involve itself in the creational-sustenance-dissolution process of (each) creation. As Nature is its own Absolute cause and each creation (Nature) is governed by its own principle—which may not be applicable or similar to others.
    Cosmic-Consciousness of each Creation is of limited scope, for it represents only to its sphere of cosmos, which is governed by one set of principle of C-S-D! Each Principle manifests itself through an evolutionary process, which is not to be associated with the Darwinian theory of evolution. According to him, we are the progeny of the animals. A foolish idea! Human beings are the finest specimen of Creation, who not only represent Its qualities but can far excel, being also graced with the Divine-force.
    Coming back to Creation and its Principle: Merely by discovering the fact, matter—if at all it exists—is conscious. The assertion, the building blocks of matter—the particles—are conscious, is not enough, as each Creation is complete unto-itself! This phenomenon goes on repeating itself without seemingly, any beginning or an end.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

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    Creation in itself connotes creations/projections of material/physical bodies—by duplication, multiplication and manifestation. It is a physical universe; naturally it is governed by physical laws. But the invisible factor of pre-‘Design/Mind’, cannot be ignored. Even if the cause of Creation, might be Absolute, i.e. Unknown—it is described as Absolute, because it revolves around Itself—It repeats again and again, subject to the same Single-Principle (Thought) as if it had no other bright idea! If it is simply the manifestation of a principle-thought-mind, then it has Intelligence as its basis—which is the case! Anything conscious is synonym of intelligence. And intelligence is the conscious knowledge of the material world, not its cause. Its cause is unknown, so it is Absolute, as surmised by some!
    No principle is complete into itself. Any system that is organized and executed, however perfectly, on an idea (principle/thought) has its originator. Energy is the substance of the universe and it is the conscious-thought of the Absolute that has organized the universe into a Grand-Design that we can see and touch. Absolute is not some alien or super-natural/magician, but the sum-total of Cosmic-Intelligence. The beauty of this wonderful system is, its conscious has the unique quality to observe and discriminate its own-self and wherever the system, seems to deviate or deflect, due to man made tools of destruction, its counter agents immediately intervene and fill the gaps. Human beings too are equipped with the same conscious, which has the ability to observe the working of its own mind (individual conscious). This, in itself, proves there exists in our mind an independent conscious which stands apart from the mind and observes its working. This independent ‘witness’ is directly linked to the Absolute-Conscious-Mind! The Seed of the entire universe is Pure-Consciousness, which according to a Design, evolves into individual conscious-Self and still retains its purity.
    Our consciousness (mind) can be ascribed through dual channels, viz., individual mind (gross-consciousness, i.e., Conscious) that traces its roots to Cosmic-Consciousness, and the “Witness” (Shakshi) attribute (Self) that is linked, directly to the Absolute. This duality of consciousness superimposes the illusion of their separateness. Though their journey of encasement in human cell has been through different channels, their source is One and their existence in material world is simultaneous and combined. Whereas mind manifests through material creations and its existence is cognized by the observing Intelligence (Self), but its shells—the manifestations—are sustained by energy that through conscious gives shape to the Creation, which we perceive. Conscious does not evolve of matter: the fact is otherwise! Matter is intelligent and intelligence always creates intelligence entities. The previously discussed subject of cosmic resurgence through the explosion of the Cosmic-Egg of super-dense atoms and the resultant big-bang hypothesis is just a myth of the scientist; just as the mythological tales of yore about Creation! During the big-bang event, obviously all atoms had exploded: then how come, there are subtle particles roaming the vast Brahmand,(cosmos) which had never been subjected to energy manifestation or manipulation, and are still in their original form, i.e. in unmanifest state! These are not involved even in the cosmic recycling evolution. They are in such state of subtlety, and are still in stationary state and far beyond the reach of the forces which create energy!
    Just as the ultimate of matter is Big-Crunch of Big-Bang, likewise its constituent’s elements, viz. electrons, protons or the latest confirmation of Peter Higgs ‘missing particles’ “Higgs Boson”, at CERN, have also their ultimate! That ultimate, is always the original state of basic particles in inanimate condition.
    The ultimate freezing point, as of now, is -273: Beyond this point there is no further measurement. But this does not indicate, being in this state means that water has lost its innate nature. In this super-dense condition, there is absolutely no movement or tension, and the water seems to have lost its properties. It is the zero condition for water, beyond which point it does not constrict or condense any further. Rather this seems to be the currently accepted state of affairs of the elements which create water. This zeroing condition of water does not in anyway construe that water does not exist in super-dense condition. It does exist, but in its purest form. Water in such a state creates illusion to be finite; which it is rightly so, as its original origin is not from ice, but from energy, which is the creator of oxygen and hydrogen. For a novice, ice state of water is its state of nihilism, i.e. Zero.
    The nihilism state of matter is the event of Big-Crunch, when gravity has reached its ultimate state of super-density. Matter is finite, but only to the extent it has transmuted to its ultimate state, beyond which it cannot transmute any further!
    Mind’s state of nihilism, i.e. zero or finite, comes when it has evolved to its fullest height and having exhausted its memory bank is in the state of desirelessness! But this does not indicate that the mind is dead, annihilated, banished or emptied. So long there is Creation, its existence is immanent. In fact along with the annihilation of matter, i.e. Creation, it lies in non-active state after Big-Crunch!
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

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    The matter and mind, like Creation, are finite but only to the extent; after having evolved to their ultimate expansion (growth), they transmute back to their original state of non-transmutation—state of non-involvement, i.e., when the components of Creation are in their non-active state, when even the subtle of the subtlest particles are in non-active state i.e. stationary.
    For the last four hundred years since Galileo, Western scientists have been engaged, very earnestly, in unraveling the mysteries of the Creation. Their research in the fields of physics, biology and geology is noteworthy. In the beginning they were not bothered about the “why”, and mainly confined themselves finding the answers to “How” of Creation! They had deliberately left this chapter to the religious. But since Newton to Einstein and the later generation of scientists; it has been their utmost priority—behind the veil of their research—to find answers to these questions: Which agency created the universe and what created that ‘agency’? If nobody created them, still they have always been there! Their goal in this respect has been to find the basic (elementary) Particle, which set in the creational process. So far their research—in the sub-atomic field—has led them to recognize the ‘neutrino’ particles, whose physical existence has yet to be conclusively proved. Even when their research understands the basics of this particle, they are very likely to find: even this particle (neutrino) actually belongs to some later generations of particles, but not the elementary one! Even otherwise the theory of ‘uncertainty’ claims: the behavior of a particle in respect of place and time cannot be accurately predicted.
    Same is in the case of human brain. We know, to some extent, the basic laws which govern our brains; but given the number of particles involved—some hundred million billion and billions particles are stated to be contained in one brain! According to Newtonian theory of gravity, one can solve the equation correctly only in case of two particles but in case of more particles, one has to resort to approximation. Human brain is, thus also subject to the theory of uncertainty.
    So neither in the case of elementary particles nor of the brain cells, exact behavior can be predicted under any given conditions! In both the cases, their number is so vast that it is simply beyond the scope of present day science to confine them in one single equation to determine their behavior. However under laboratory conditions very extensive tests are being carried out at huge costs. Their outcome has not as yet reached to that level of expertise, which could lead to the event of singularities.
    But this ‘factor’ is being established that the universe is conditioned by certain laws, which implies that it is (pre-) determined!
    The Newton concept: The universe is static was changed by Edwin Hubble, when he discovered the galaxies were actually moving away from our galaxy. It indicated clearly, the universe was expanding, rather than it being static. This implies, it has its creation or beginning as it has already expanded to the present scenario and is still in the process of further expansion. After all this process started from some zero point!
    The state of zero does exist, both in universe as well as in mind. When all the matter in the universe has evaporated (during the Big-Crunch),including the particles, it is composed of—the state of singularity ‘exists’—that is the condition of mass-less void in space (Brahmand). This in fact is the end of material—the forces—which creates the universe. But it is not the death of the ‘Principle’! Why the universe suddenly decides to dissolute, is another matter. Biologists know the death of body is determined by the encoded message in the brain cells. Suddenly cells decide to die, due to some pre-determined memory trigger, and they start to decay or die instantly.
    Nature works on well defined laws. Each universe in the Brahmand has its pre-determined origin and dissolution. That determining ‘factor’ is the Principle (Intelligence) that is defined in spiritual language as Divinity and as the unified-theory-of-everything by the physicists.
    The more i learn more i become aware of my ignorance
    Awareness of ignorance is wisdom

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