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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 193

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 193

    FAIRY TALEíS RESPUN # 9

    New mattresses were ordered
    For the bed of Princess Kayleigh
    As they were changing the beds
    For The Princess And The Pee

    I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 8

    I went into hospital for minor surgery
    And the anesthetist was a bit of a bore
    He said ďOops! Does anyone know if a patient
    Has ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?Ē

    THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE # 1

    The secret to a happy married life
    Is that you should simply remember
    That to keep on the good side of your wife
    Silence is sometimes the best answer

    ARE YOU WEARING BUBBLE WRAP?

    Are you wearing bubble wrap?
    Well that is a novel form of dress
    But if I were to start popping the bubbles
    Would that cause you any distress?

    I DONíT WALK WITH THE CROWD

    I donít walk with the crowd and
    Iím not the usual Microwave user
    I like to stop it at one second
    Just to feel like a bomb de-fuser.

    I DONíT MIND YOU NOT BEING GLAMMED UP

    I donít mind you not being glammed up
    But a gentís tweed suit is not your normal attire
    Is there any reason for your change of style?
    Is the masculine look some form of satire?

    WE FOUND A BRILLIANT BUILDER

    We found a brilliant builder
    His workmanship is out of sight
    The only snag is heís Transylvanian
    So he can only work at night

    THE GRIM REAPER CAME FOR ME LAST NIGHT

    The Grim Reaper came for me last night
    And I could barely catch my breath
    But I beat him away with a vacuum cleaner
    And was really Dyson with death.

    AN UMBRELLA WAS LIKE A PANCAKE

    Granddad always said, an umbrella was like
    A pancake, but I didnít know what he meant?
    I only found out many years later that it was
    Because they were seldom seen after lent

    WHEN HIS FOOD ARRIVED

    When his food arrived
    He saw something distressing
    ďThereís a button in my saladĒ
    The waiter said, messing
    ďThat's all right, sir,
    It's just part of the dressingĒ

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    More reasons not to see the surgeon. Good advice about a happily married life and why you shouldn't lend out your umbrella. I've always wondered about those bubble wrap dresses.

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