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Thread: Poet's Plea

  1. #1
    Registered User miyako73's Avatar
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    Poet's Plea

    When you see the sky blue and the calm of the ocean,
    remember the grays in the slum, the black in daylight,
    the falling trees, the decomposing, the gutter drying.

    When you smell a scent of May, the hint of jasmines,
    remember the stench of rotting, the decaying rodent,
    the heap of garbage smoldering, the odor of its vapor.

    When you taste sugar, juice, the tangerines of summer,
    remember the salt of the drained tongue, the moment
    tedious in the mouth, the convulsing lips, the famines.

    When you hear a mother sway at bedtime with singing,
    remember the doldrums of the road, the quiet midnight,
    the noises of running engines, the deadness of motion.

    When you feel a grazing blanket, the pulling of a hand,
    remember the shivering, the body lifeless on the sand.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."

    --Jonathan Davis

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    Nice contrast between the two extremes.

  3. #3
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I would think it goes both ways. That is, when you see "the grays in the slum, the black in daylight" remember "the sky blue and the calm of the ocean".

  4. #4
    Registered User miyako73's Avatar
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    Thanks, Dream and YesNo.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."

    --Jonathan Davis

  5. #5
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    I liked the contrast too. It highlights the fact that one prefers to forget about the uglier aspects of life.
    "You can always find something better than death."
    Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Bremen Town Musicians

  6. #6
    Wild is the Wind Silas Thorne's Avatar
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    Hi miyako,

    I love this. Read and reread it several times. I like the repetition and parallelism. You killed that ending by dropping it to two lines instead of three. Excellent. Love the 'ing' in it.

    It's probably me, but I'm not sure about the phrase 'a grazing blanket'. It doesn't seem as clear as the other images.

    Thanks for sharing

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