Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Poet's Plea

  1. #1
    Registered User miyako73's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    1,667

    Poet's Plea

    When you see the sky blue and the calm of the ocean,
    remember the grays in the slum, the black in daylight,
    the falling trees, the decomposing, the gutter drying.

    When you smell a scent of May, the hint of jasmines,
    remember the stench of rotting, the decaying rodent,
    the heap of garbage smoldering, the odor of its vapor.

    When you taste sugar, juice, the tangerines of summer,
    remember the salt of the drained tongue, the moment
    tedious in the mouth, the convulsing lips, the famines.

    When you hear a mother sway at bedtime with singing,
    remember the doldrums of the road, the quiet midnight,
    the noises of running engines, the deadness of motion.

    When you feel a grazing blanket, the pulling of a hand,
    remember the shivering, the body lifeless on the sand.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."

    --Jonathan Davis

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    A rural part of Sweden, southern Norrland
    Posts
    3,123
    Nice contrast between the two extremes.

  3. #3
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,420
    Blog Entries
    2
    I would think it goes both ways. That is, when you see "the grays in the slum, the black in daylight" remember "the sky blue and the calm of the ocean".

  4. #4
    Registered User miyako73's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    1,667
    Thanks, Dream and YesNo.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."

    --Jonathan Davis

  5. #5
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Beyond nowhere
    Posts
    11,191
    Blog Entries
    2
    I liked the contrast too. It highlights the fact that one prefers to forget about the uglier aspects of life.
    "I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
    Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row

  6. #6
    Wild is the Wind Silas Thorne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    New Zealand (Mostly)
    Posts
    2,788
    Blog Entries
    94
    Hi miyako,

    I love this. Read and reread it several times. I like the repetition and parallelism. You killed that ending by dropping it to two lines instead of three. Excellent. Love the 'ing' in it.

    It's probably me, but I'm not sure about the phrase 'a grazing blanket'. It doesn't seem as clear as the other images.

    Thanks for sharing

Similar Threads

  1. Lolly's Plea
    By miyako73 in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-28-2014, 01:38 PM
  2. A Plea for Help
    By miyako73 in forum Short Story Sharing
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 09-10-2012, 03:31 PM
  3. A Plea for help!
    By Rhiannon87 in forum General Literature
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-04-2011, 05:43 PM
  4. A Plea for Thinking!
    By The Atheist in forum Philosophical Literature
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 09-24-2007, 10:02 PM
  5. My Insanity Plea
    By naathyn in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-17-2006, 07:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •