AS KIDS EVERY CHRISTMAS TIME
As kids every Christmas time
We would really go berserk
But now I’m grown up I think
It’s just a lot of extra work
AT CHRISTMAS WHEN I WAS A CHILD
At Christmas when I was a child
I always used to resent
Getting items of clothing
As they weren’t a proper present
But that all changed later
And I would always make a fuss
When I was in my teens
If I didn’t get clothes for Christmas
SHINY RED BAUBLES
Shiny red baubles
Can be a sign of the Season
But for my brother
An STD was the reason
WE HAD TO CUT THE LEGS OFF
We had to cut the legs off
The turkey to get it in the oven
But I think we should have
Killed it first on reflection
INSTEAD OF THE TRADITIONAL TURKEY
Instead of the traditional Turkey
We had Venison this year
While up at the North Pole
Santa was missing a Reindeer
FOR OUR CHRISTMAS DINNER
For our Christmas dinner
We had German sprouts
And they in no way allayed
Any low emission doubts
I DECIDED TO SPICE UP CHRISTMAS
I decided to spice up Christmas
And along with some scanties
I bought her some special toys
That cost me a fortune in batteries
WHICH CAROLS DO YOU WANT TO DO?
“Which carols do you want to do?”
The music teacher asked me
I misunderstood the question and replied
“Needham, Crow and Vitale”