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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 191

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 191

    FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 7

    “You'll never guess my name”
    Taunted Rumpelstiltskin.
    “I know” she said “but that’s because
    Of the Gimp Mask you’re wearing”

    I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 6

    I went into hospital for minor surgery
    And the anesthetist thought he was funny
    When the nurse dropped a scalpel he said
    “Sterile, shcmerile, the floor's clean, really”

    I WILL DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN

    I will differentiate between, if I can,
    A tube and a foolish Dutchman
    Ah yes, one is a hollow cylinder
    And the other is a silly Hollander

    THE GREATEST SHAKESPEARIAN VILLAIN

    The greatest Shakespearian villain,
    Who would make a demon scowl,
    Was Macbeth the chicken-killer,
    Because he did murder most foul

    MY SISTER ELLEN

    My sister Ellen
    Married beneath her
    But then she is
    Six feet tall to be fare

    JOHN IS A VERY UNLUCKY LOVER

    John is a very unlucky lover
    Unlike James, his twin brother
    As John always misses the kisses
    While James kisses the misses

    AVOID DATING PRETTY MEN, NO MATTER

    Avoid dating pretty men, no matter
    How much they illuminate the gloom
    Because the pretty men are all like
    Cheap fireworks, they go off too soon

    A YOUNG MAN STOLE A KISS FROM HER LIPS

    A young man stole a kiss from her lips
    And to his surprise she didn’t have a fit
    Instead she smiled and said to him
    “Just put that back from where you took it”

    POULTRY FARMERS WHO KEEP

    Poultry farmers who keep
    Battery chickens are fiends
    Because they earn their
    Immoral living by fowl means

    THERE IS A PARTICULAR HERB

    There is a particular herb
    That by reason and rhyme
    Is most injurious to a lady's
    Beauty and that is Thyme

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    A lot of nice ones here. Again, you have convinced me not to have minor surgery. I'll skip surgery entirely. I liked the kissing ones the best whether one is missing the kisses or kissing the misses or putting the stolen kiss back.

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    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    3 cheers !

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

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