I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 4
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the surgeon thought he was a riot
He held up the x-ray and said “Wait a minute,
If this is his spleen, then what the hell is that?”
A WORLD RENOWNED SCIENTIST
A world renowned scientist
Decided that he would utilize
A beautiful knocker on his door
And he won the No Bell prize
WHEN THEY ARE STEPPED ON
When they are stepped on
Their behaviour is quite benign
The Grapes never say a word
But they do give a little whine
I PHONED THE DENTIST IN SOME DISTRESS
I phoned the dentist in some distress
And I had to get a bit shirty
The receptionist finally booked me
An appointment at Tooth Hurty.
STEP BROTHER
When I got home from work
My brother came into view
He was laying on the doorstep
But hey that’s Matt for you
SOMEBODY TRASHED THE BIKE
Somebody trashed the bike
Of the school bully, Michael
It was after an anti-bullying lecture
Entitled “let’s break the cycle”
I HEARD A VERY APT DESCRIPTION
I heard a very apt description
Of Gardening the other day
It suggested that Gardening was
Grown-ups going outside to play
SOME PEOPLE ARE DOWN BEAT
Some people are down beat
And see life as a negative
But I was born to be an optimist
Even my blood type is B Positive
SO IF THEY PUT REAL LEMONS
So if they put real lemons
In the washing up liquid
Does that mean that they
Put real fairies in fairy liquid
GRETEL DIDN’T GO TO THE WOODS
Gretel didn’t go to the woods
Looking for a house of gingerbread
When she walked along with Hansel
She was looking for a muffin instead
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