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Thread: Wodehouse Journalist

  1. #1
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    Red face Wodehouse Journalist

    Hello All, I need some help about the variety of English and the rewriting into Standard English about the following:
    Please help.:-))) Thanks.
    --Master Maloney eyed the cat, as if he were seeing it for the first
    time.
    ”It’s a kitty what I got in de street,” he said.
    ”Don’t hurt the poor brute. Put her down.”
    Master Maloney obediently dropped the cat, which sprang nimbly on
    to an upper shelf of the book-case.
    ”I wasn’t hoitin’ her,” he said, without emotion. ”Dere was two
    fellers in de street sickin’ a dawg on to her. An’ I comes up an’
    says,’ G’wan! What do youse t’ink you’re doin’, fussin’ de poor
    dumb animal?’ An’ one of de guys, he says, ’G’wan! Who do youse
    t’ink youse is?’ An’ I says, ’I’m de guy what’s goin’ to swat youse
    one on de coco if youse don’t quit fussin’ de poor dumb animal.’ So
    wit dat he makes a break at swattin’ me one, but I swats him one,
    an’ I swats de odder feller one, an’ den I swats dem bote some
    more, an’ I gets de kitty, an’ I brings her in here, cos I t’inks
    maybe youse’ll look after her.”

  2. #2
    Registered User mona amon's Avatar
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    I do not know what sort of English it is, but I can understand it -

    "It's a kitty that I got in the street"
    "I wasn't hurting her," "There were two fellows in the street siccing a dog on to her."
    "And I came up and said, Go on, what do you think you're doing, fussing the poor dumb animal? And one of the guys, he says, "Go on, who do you think you are?" And I said, "I'm the guy who's going to swat you one on the coconut if you don't quit fussing the poor dumb animal." So with that he made a break at swatting me one, but I swat him one, and I swat the other fellow one, and then I swat them both some more, and I got the kitty, and I brought her in here, because I thought maybe you'll look after her."
    Exit, pursued by a bear.

  3. #3
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    Hi. It looks like it's supposed to replicate an Irish accent. The give away is "t'ink" for "think", "youse" for "you lot" or " you two" and "G'wan" for "go on". Alternatively, it could be Scouse, the accent and dialect of Liverpool in England, which is heavily influenced by Irish.

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