21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 383
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
When he got a telephone call
“Hump Me Dumpty” Bo said
And he fainted and fell off the wall
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 2
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the anaesthetist was a bit of a clown
“Did this patient sign the organ Doner form?”
He said as I was lying there in my gown
MY SON JOKES ABOUT MY AGE # 9
My son jokes about my age
His humour is unforgiving
He says my first driving license
Was probably written in Latin
KERMIT THE FROG’S CAR
Kermit the Frog’s car
Broke down one day
So he phoned the AA
And it got Toad away
WHEN ANNE BOLEYN WAS UNDRESSED
When Anne Boleyn was undressed
It was observed when they viewed her
That she was covered in tooth marks
Because of her husband Henry Tudor
APPARENTLY ONE IN THREE KIDS # 1
Apparently one in three kids
Are conceived in an IKEA bed
One in three chavs are conceived
In the stores toilets instead
DISNEY HAVE GOT INTO PORN # 4
Disney have got into porn
It had to happen of course
Beauty and the Beast is the movie
And the beast is hung like a horse
THE LORD AND GENTLEMAN OF THE HOUSE
The Lord and gentleman of the house
Eloped with the under cook, Elaine
But his wife was quite sanguine, because
She could have the maid to herself again
CHEMISTS AND ALCHEMISTS
Chemists and alchemists
Are both of feminine gender
Because one is an Ann Eliza
And the other a Charlotte Ann
LIFE IS A FOUR LETTER WORD
Life is short, a four letter word
It’s quite absurd, and here’s why
It’s because half of it is just an 'if
And three quarters of it is a 'lie'
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