FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 2
The sorcerer’s apprentice
Wasn’t there for tutorage
He was only interested in
The Sorcerer's Appendage
I HAVE OFTEN WANTED TO ASK THE QUESTION
I have often wanted to ask the question
Which has always gone unspoken
Why, when my wife gets ready, does she
Put on mascara with her mouth open
PTERODACTYL
None of the dinosaurs ever heard
The pterodactyl spend a penny
And the simple reason for that
Was because of the silent P
PUT DOWN # 62
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “Did you just fall from heaven?”
Take a breath and pause for a bit
Then reply “Yes I fell from heaven
But then I landed on a soft ****?”
I TRAVEL ON THE TRAIN TO WIMBLEDON
I travel on the train to Wimbledon
It’s the best station by far for me
As you can change for the Overground
Underground and Wombleing free
I THINK THAT THEIR NAME IS AN MISNOMER
I think that their name is an misnomer
If the Borrowers never return anything.
In fact I would go as far to say they’re
Little more than a criminal enterprise ring
MIND THE GAP, MIND THE GAP
Mind the gap, mind the gap
Is not an announcement about safety
But is pointing out the difference
Between the timetable and reality
I HAD A FITTING WITH MY TAILOR
I had a fitting with my tailor and
All the measurements were wrong
I should really have known better
After all his name is Wei Tu Long
FOGHORN LEGHORN CROSSED THE PLAYGROUND
Foghorn Leghorn crossed the playground
But not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was just to get to the other slide
MY SON JOKES ABOUT MY AGE # 4
My son jokes about my age
He really keeps going on and on
He says that when I was at school
I was best friends with Nelson
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