WHY DID THE BIGAMIST CROSS THE ROAD?
Why did the bigamist cross the road?
Well not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was so he could get to the other bride
TO A GARDENER
To a gardener,
A grassed over area
Is just a flowerbed
That has yet to appear
ARE YOU WEARING ODD SOCKS? # 2
Are you wearing odd socks?
I suppose the look is a bit hipster
But honestly at your age, you are
Meat and drink for a quipster
THE PLURAL OF TOOTH
So if it is correct that
The plural of tooth is teeth
Then why isn’t the plural
Of booth, beeth
IT IS A SAD FACT OF LIFE THAT IF # 1
It is a sad fact of life that if
Several things can go to ****,
The one to be befall you
Will cause the most shock
IF CLERGYMEN CAN BE DEFROCKED # 1
If clergymen can be defrocked
And lawyers be disbarred
Then that must mean that
Tree surgeons can be debarked
THE GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS
The Guinness book of records
Have published an update
The world’s untidiest man has died
And his body is lying in a state
A CHICKEN AT THE MOVIES
A chicken at the movies
Made the whole theatre look
So the manager asked
“Why are you here chook?”
The chicken replied,
“Well, because I liked the book”
I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO EXERCISE
I have been told to exercise
But I am deliberately refraining
As refusing to go to the gym
Counts as resistance training
HOSPITALITY IS AN ART FORM
Hospitality is an art form
Making your guests feel
Like they're actually at home,
While wishing they were for real