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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 165

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 165

    WHY DID THE FUGITIVE CROSS THE ROAD?

    Why did the fugitive cross the road?
    Well not just to get to the other side
    The reason he wanted to cross over
    Was so he could find somewhere to hide

    A WEED IS A PLANT THAT HAS SIMPLY MASTERED

    A weed is a plant that has simply mastered
    Every survival skill in the way it grows
    But with all its hardy guile and cunning
    They haven’t yet learned to grow in rows

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 367

    Mary had a little lamb
    She couldn’t stop it bleating
    So Mary snapped and the lamb
    Made very good eating

    ARE YOU WEARING ODD SOCKS? # 1

    Are you wearing odd socks?
    Well that’s quirky in the youth
    And it’s quite nice to see, but
    But on you they look stupid in truth

    THE PLURAL OF GOOSE

    So if it is correct that
    The plural of goose is geese
    Then why isn’t the plural
    Of moose, meese

    THE SEX WAS SO GOOD LAST NIGHT

    The sex was so good last night
    With my girlfriend Bimbette
    That after it was over even
    The neighbours had a cigarette.

    I QUIT MY JOB AT THE REFINERY

    I quit my job at the refinery
    In the helium gas zone
    It was a good job but I refused
    To be spoken to in that tone

    SHOTS WERE FIRED AT THE CHOIR

    Shots were fired at the choir
    Which has affected morale
    The Arizona News called it
    “Gunfight at the Ok Chorale”

    PUT DOWN # 58

    Put downs work the best
    For deflecting unwanted attention
    But try to be amusing
    As this relieves the tension
    If he falters and flirts with you
    He is only flattering to deceive
    So ignore him, but if he persists ask
    “If I throw a stick, will you leave?”

    IT IS A SAD FACT OF LIFE THAT IS # 1

    It is a sad fact of life that is
    Something of a curse
    Left to themselves things
    Will go from bad to worse

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Nice suggestion about throwing a stick to get someone to leave. I also liked the one about how weeds should learn to grow in rows (and I might add be tasty as well) and the one about Bimbette the best.

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