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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 164

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 164

    WHY DID THE VOYEUR CROSS THE ROAD?

    Why did the voyeur cross the road?
    Well not just to get to the other side
    The reason he wanted to cross over
    Was so he could find somewhere to hide

    THE WAY TO GARDEN EFFECTIVELY

    To garden effectively, firstly, put on a hat
    But be very careful, and choose the right one
    Straw preferably, and it should have a
    Wide brim to protect you from the sun
    Some old clothes, but nothing too scruffy
    It should be a stylish yet practical rig
    And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink
    In the other, tell somebody else where to dig

    THERE IS AN OWL OF LOW MORALS

    There is an Owl of low morals
    That frequents our park
    And subsequently it doesn’t
    Give a hoot after dark

    SHEER EXTRAVAGANCE

    A husband pays five hundred pounds
    To get his wife a sheer negligée
    So she thought she should pose for him
    As it was a lot of money to pay
    But decided to pretend to wear the item
    And then next day get a refund on it
    He looked on wide eyed and said
    “For the price they could have ironed it”

    A MAN WAS LEFT MENTALLY SCARRED

    A man was left mentally scarred
    After swinging from trees in his yard
    When a branch snagged on his leotard
    So he was hoisted on his own petard

    A ROYAL WARRANT

    In order for a Baker to get
    A Royal warrant, it is said
    They need to be like many
    Royals and be inter-bred

    THE BORDER AGENCY ARE STRUGGLING

    The border agency are struggling
    To prevent mosquitos from getting in
    They’re very cunning creatures
    Who all claim to be Asylum Zika’s

    OUR NEIGHBOURS ARE ORGANIC DAIRY FARMERS

    Our neighbours are organic dairy farmers
    With special diets and all that ilk
    N’owt good ever came of pampering cows
    And all you’ll ever get is spoilt milk

    NOBEL PRIZE’S

    They give Nobel Prize’s for anything now
    And the latest recipient has been revealed
    The winner is a scarecrow of all things
    Mind you he is outstanding in his field

    IT RAINS IN ENGLAND

    England has a reputation for being wet
    And it’s a well-deserved one I fear
    And the simple reason for that is that
    The Queen has reigned so many years

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the Nobel prize for the most outstanding scarecrow the best. That one about the mosquitoes crossing the border is also pretty good. As well as the raining Queen. Oh, yeah, and voyeurs do prefer to see rather than be seen.

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