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Thread: My letter to my unrequited love

  1. #1
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    My letter to my unrequited love

    My suicide note

    -You won't even know that I'm gone. Nobody will know. Nobody will care. I'm going to die. But that's ok. You have Evan right? That abusive ******* jerk who uses you? The one that makes you feel like **** and makes you cry. Paige I love you, and I've loved my more than anyone else in my life for as long as I can remember. Do you know how much it hurts to write this, knowing it's the last thing you'll have to remember me by? I guess you don't. You couldn't know what it's like saying goodbye forever to someone you love more than yourself. What you have with Evan isn't love. It's infatuation and lust. People who are in love don't hurt each other to benefit themselves. They just don't. Evan wouldn't constantly be obsessed with being with you if he didn't think his relationship with you was strong. You said that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, but do you really want to deal with the constant heartache that he gives you? Well, that's none of my business though, right? Paige, I'd live and die for you. I'd kill anyone if you asked me to. And that's not an exaggeration. If you honestly needed me to kill, I would. I would because I am in love with you. Not in a sisterly way either. I want, well wanted, to date you, live with you, marry you. I'd even have the three kids you want to have. I guess it's a bit too late to confess now, huh? I wish I did. I wish I had the guts. But I don't. Now, you're probably thinking, Autumn, you're crazy you can't. And I'd say I'm not crazy, I'm dead, remember? The thing is, if you're reading this it's already been done. I am dead. There is no I can't, because I did. Paige I just want you to know it's not your fault. Not entirely. It's everything. Paige, I'm just done with it all. I just want to stop hurting. I want to stop being in constant pain because of you and school and parents and guilt for everything I've done and said that people won't let me live down. I'm just tired. I'm done Paige. I'm done and ready to be dead. Sad I know. You'll move on. To be honest, you'll forget soon. It won't be long before I'll be the next Lori, the next Dana. It won't be long until I join that group of "friends". Well, it seems I've nearly run out of room to write. I've been thinking and writing this letter for hours. Writing and rewriting every word. Paige. I only want what's best I for you. I need you. The only problem is, I've already lost you to Evan. A dick who doesn't treat you right at all. I guess it's not my problem anymore. I'm either in oblivion or hell cause I killed myself. I should've payed an assassin so I'd go to heaven if there is one. I guess I'll never know. I love you more than the moon and the stars and all the video games I've ever played. I know, heartfelt. You said you don't cry at funerals, and I won't test that. I'm throwing myself into the ocean and drowning, just for you. I know you may have liked me. I'm not even sure anymore though. I don't want to have to walk on eggshells and broken glass to appease you. I know this is the most selfish thing I can do. There have been times that I've made you feel better when you thought nobody else could. At least that's what you told me and I choose to believe it. Mary Elizabeth told me that I should go and date someone else and forget about you. To try and forget my love for you. To try to move on. I would've, but I didn't want to. I love the feeling of loving you. Even if you didn't love me back. I loved every heartwrenching moment of it. I didn't want to let go of that feeling. I didn't want to let go of you. Paige, I wanted to thank you more than anything. I wanted to thank you for letting me feel what it's like to be in love. It made me so happy to know that you liked me. Nothing could ever compare to the nights we spent together. Especially that one night when we played strip dice. Not because we both stripped down to our underwear, but that's the night that we kissed. Paige. I kid you not I felt tingling in my lips. I should stop talking. This is one big clash of ideas and thoughts. I'm writing this right before I die, so it's acceptable, I guess. Well. This is it then. You are the last person I'm writing to. So this... This is goodbye. Heh... I don't want to leave...

    Goodbye my friend,
    Goodbye my heart,
    Goodbye my one and only love,
    Thank you for everything,
    Goodbye Paige.
    Autumn

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Hope things work out and you keep posting. Do you write poetry?

  3. #3
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    Yes I do. I'll mostly be writing suicide notes for now, but I'll post poetry soon enough. I think I have a few poems of this nature around somewhere.
    Autumn

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