WHY DID THE PHILANDERER CROSS THE ROAD?
Why did the philanderer cross the road?
Well not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was so he could get to another man’s bride
I’M A REALLY RUBBISH GARDENER
I’m a really rubbish gardener
I find it all a bit of a chore
If only I was better outside
At simple horticulture
And grow stuff in the garden
Like I do in the refrigerator
WE USED TO HAVE AN OWL
We used to have an Owl
He was really cute
But he had low self esteem
So didn’t give a hoot
THE MOST POPULAR NUDISTS
The most popular man in a nudist colony
Can carry 2 large coffees and twelve donuts
The most popular woman in a nudist colony
Is the one who can eat the last two donuts
A TODDLER STARTS CHEWING ON A SLUG
A toddler starts chewing on a slug
As mum looks on and squirms
But she asked what it tasted like
And the toddler replied "Worms"
AMONG ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN
Among abominable snowmen
There is a virgin called Betty
And to all her kith and kin
She is known as a not Yeti
IN THE VEGETABLE WORLD
In the vegetable world, the posh potatoes
Never listen to football on the radio
There is nothing they dislike greater
Than the sound of a Common-tater
THE MELONS ARE HAVING A BIG WEDDING
The Melons are having a big wedding
“Hello magazine” have the scoop
However they don’t really want
A big affair but they cantaloupe
THE SIMPLE RED ROSE WAS ONCE
The simple red rose was once
The emblem of the English
But alas it has been replaced
In England by the satellite dish
A DOCTOR POINTED OUT
A Doctor pointed out a piece of lettuce
That protruded from the patient’s ear
And added that it might be serious
As it could be the tip of the iceberg