NEVER LOSE YOUR HEART TO A TENNIS PLAYER
Never lose your heart to a tennis player
And that goes for women and men
But it’s not that they are bad people
It’s just that love means nothing to them
BREAK A LEG
Telling actors to "Break a leg"
Is a tradition from long past
And the reason for it is this
Actors like to be in a good cast
WEEDS AND FLOWERS
The difference between
Weeds and flowers
Is without a doubt
That the garden weeds
Are the most difficult
By far to pull out
WE LOVE YOU STREET ANGELS
They are a constant about the place
They are the friendly face
Revellers stop on their merry way
And invariably they will say
As they lean at precarious angles
"We love you strangles"
THE PREDATORY MALE
The predatory male
As he hunts amidst the herds
Is only offended
By two four letter words.
The first one being “don't”
And “stop” being the other
And both words bring a halt
To his particular pleasure
Unless of course
They are used together
ARE YOU WEARING LEGGINGS?
Are you wearing leggings?
That are baggy 'round the knees
As I can’t see them for myself
Can I have more details please?
I TOLD MY DAD
I told my dad “I want to be
A fortune teller init”
He said “Don’t be daft son
There’s no future in it”
I GOT A JOB AT THE CARNIVAL
I got a job at the carnival and
The hall of mirror was my selection
But it wasn’t what I thought
And it was a bad choice on reflection
FOGHORN LEGHORN WAS THROWN
Foghorn Leghorn was thrown
Off the court
As the crowd began to howl
And he would never again
Be a referee
All because he blew a fowl
DONATIONS TO SPERM BANKS
Donations to Sperm Banks
In the UK are in decline
Because most people today
Do their banking on line