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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 162

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 162

    NEVER LOSE YOUR HEART TO A TENNIS PLAYER

    Never lose your heart to a tennis player
    And that goes for women and men
    But it’s not that they are bad people
    It’s just that love means nothing to them

    BREAK A LEG

    Telling actors to "Break a leg"
    Is a tradition from long past
    And the reason for it is this
    Actors like to be in a good cast

    WEEDS AND FLOWERS

    The difference between
    Weeds and flowers
    Is without a doubt
    That the garden weeds
    Are the most difficult
    By far to pull out

    WE LOVE YOU STREET ANGELS

    They are a constant about the place
    They are the friendly face
    Revellers stop on their merry way
    And invariably they will say
    As they lean at precarious angles
    "We love you strangles"

    THE PREDATORY MALE

    The predatory male
    As he hunts amidst the herds
    Is only offended
    By two four letter words.
    The first one being “don't”
    And “stop” being the other
    And both words bring a halt
    To his particular pleasure
    Unless of course
    They are used together

    ARE YOU WEARING LEGGINGS?

    Are you wearing leggings?
    That are baggy 'round the knees
    As I can’t see them for myself
    Can I have more details please?

    I TOLD MY DAD

    I told my dad “I want to be
    A fortune teller init”
    He said “Don’t be daft son
    There’s no future in it”

    I GOT A JOB AT THE CARNIVAL

    I got a job at the carnival and
    The hall of mirror was my selection
    But it wasn’t what I thought
    And it was a bad choice on reflection

    FOGHORN LEGHORN WAS THROWN

    Foghorn Leghorn was thrown
    Off the court
    As the crowd began to howl
    And he would never again
    Be a referee
    All because he blew a fowl

    DONATIONS TO SPERM BANKS

    Donations to Sperm Banks
    In the UK are in decline
    Because most people today
    Do their banking on line

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Nice ones. I liked the one about having a future in fortune telling the best although never losing one's heart to a tennis play and being in a good cast are right up there.

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