You chaps appear to need a little prodding in the jokes department, so prepare yourselves:
I got myself a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry," so it died.
You chaps appear to need a little prodding in the jokes department, so prepare yourselves:
I got myself a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry," so it died.
Obsessed with facial symmetry.
Why do elephants wear tennies ?
Because ninies are too small and elevenies are too big.
tailor
who am I but a stitch in time
what if I were to bare my soul
would you see me origami
7-8-2015
Tailor, I stared at that joke for some time, and I fear I still can't fathom it, so I shall retaliate with this:
I went to the doctor, but all he did was suck blood from my neck. Everyone, don't go to Dr. Acula.
Obsessed with facial symmetry.
What's the difference between a dirty bus-stop and a well-endowed female lobster?
One's a crusty bus station, the other's a busty crustacean.
**hangs head in shame**
"I should only believe in a God that would know how to dance. And when I saw my devil, I found him serious, thorough, profound, solemn: he was the spirit of gravity- through him all things fall. Not by wrath, but by laughter, do we slay. Come, let us slay the spirit of gravity!" - Nietzsche
Actually, Lokasenna, I thought that was one of the better ones we've had. Now hear this:
I was thinking of getting my teeth whitened, but I realized I could just get a tan instead.
Obsessed with facial symmetry.
Never high five a rabbi.
Obsessed with facial symmetry.
So I said to Lokasenna: "I bet you can't name one subject I don't know a joke about." He said "Beavers." And I said "Dam."
Obsessed with facial symmetry.
Do you know any jokes about anesthetics?`Originally Posted by Tyrion Cheddar
Me neither.
Last night I dreamt I kept driving round a roundabout. With my right hand I was making pancakes, with my left hand I was steering. All night, tossing and turning.
Obsessed with facial symmetry.
Despite you people taking the plethora of comedy gold I've given you for granted, leaving me feeling neglected and unloved, I shall give you more:
I was standing in the park today wondering why a frisbee looks bigger as it gets closer, and then it hit me.
Obsessed with facial symmetry.
"tennies" is slang for tennis shoes; the premise we start with in the joke. The weak humor is in that the size 10 (tennies also) are the ultimate size for "tennies" for an elephant to wear since size 9's (ninies) are too small and size 11's (elevenies) are too big, which every child at heart knows. As an aside in a seemingly unrelated thread: Big Game (bigamy)=large wildlife.
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
tailor
who am I but a stitch in time
what if I were to bare my soul
would you see me origami
7-8-2015
What did the scarecrow say to the pumpkin?
Nothing.
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
Surreal and abstract humor warms my heart, YesNo. I cut my teeth on it, as in the following example:
What's the difference between an orange?
Something satisfyingly Dadaist about it. Now, moving along:
I once dated a girl called Paige Turner. Couldn't put her down.
Obsessed with facial symmetry.
How did a penguin, a Martian and Sarah Palin meet?
Oddly enough.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Brian.
Brian who?
BRIAN BLESSED!
(Because, y'know, it would be funny if Brian Blessed turned up on your doorstep).
"I should only believe in a God that would know how to dance. And when I saw my devil, I found him serious, thorough, profound, solemn: he was the spirit of gravity- through him all things fall. Not by wrath, but by laughter, do we slay. Come, let us slay the spirit of gravity!" - Nietzsche
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