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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 159

  1. #1
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 159

    WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 5

    We requested a twin bed room
    But we ended up with a king size
    As a result my wife is pregnant
    So that was a nice holiday surprise

    FOGHORN LEGHORN CROSSED THE ROAD

    Foghorn Leghorn crossed the road
    And without a pause for dossing
    He immediately returned again
    Because he was double-crossing

    THE PRESIDENT OF CHESS CLUB # 2

    The president of Chess Club
    Was toying with his bishop
    Then his mum walked in
    And told him he had to stop

    IN THE BURNS NIGHT RAFFLE

    In the Burns Night Raffle, first prize
    Was very highly sought after
    For it allowed the winner to pass
    On the haggis at the Burns Night Supper

    ST PATRICK'S DAY PICK UP # 2

    When you’re on the pull
    If you want to break the ice
    Say something funny
    Or say something nice
    Be complimentary
    Or just lie in your endeavour
    Be devastatingly witty
    Or say something clever
    “Do you have any Irish in you?”
    Ask her, on St Patrick's Day
    And if she answers no, reply
    “Do you want some today?”

    AN ENGLISHMAN WALKED INTO A PUB

    An Englishman walked into a pub
    But something was definitely up
    There were no Irish, Welsh or Scots
    Because they were still in the cup

    I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO FIND PRAWN BREAD

    I haven’t been able to find prawn bread
    I have searched from coast to coast
    So what I really want to know now is
    How on earth do they make prawn toast

    THE RUSSIAN AIRFORCE ARE FIRING

    The Russian Airforce are firing
    Amazon missiles at Syria
    They are so called as they keep
    Being left with a neighbour

    ARE YOU WEARING BEER GOGGLES?

    Are you wearing beer goggles?
    That’s a definite I reckon
    Because I look like Iain Dowie
    But you see David Beckham

    EVERY CHILD WILL AT SOME TIME

    Every child will at some time
    Threaten to run away
    And that hope keeps parents
    Going day to day

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I don't know what haggis is but it sounds like something worth winning a prize to pass on. I also liked the one about the parents' hope.
    Don't forget the poetry contests at http://www.online-literature.com/for...s-amp-Contests

  3. #3
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    Thanks YN
    Haggis is a Scottish dish, traditionally made from a sheep's stomach stuffed with diced sheep's liver, lungs and heart, oatmeal, onion, suet and seasoning. Need I say more?

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