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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 158

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 158

    WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 4

    When we were on holiday
    We went swimming in the sea
    No-one said there would be fish
    The kids found it very scary

    FOGHORN LEGHORN WENT TO TOWN

    Foghorn Leghorn went to town
    On the bus with the other day trippers
    But not to sight see, he went to KFC
    Because of the chicken strippers

    THE PRESIDENT OF CHESS CLUB # 1

    The president of Chess Club
    Was rushed into moving his pawn
    When he heard his mum planned
    To search his bedroom at dawn

    ANIMAL RIGHTS PROTESTORS

    Animal rights protestors
    The animal lovers, self-styled
    Broke into a specialist farm
    Releasing the haggis to the wild

    ST PATRICK'S DAY PICK UP # 1

    When you’re on the pull
    If you want to break the ice
    Say something funny
    Or say something nice
    Be complimentary
    Or just lie in your endeavour
    Be devastatingly witty
    Or say something clever
    “Do you have any Irish in you?”
    Ask her, on St Patrick's Day
    And if she answers yes, reply
    “You can have some more today”

    HAVING + 1 CHANNELS

    If you are going to have + 1 channels
    There should be a – 1 for everyone
    Which would automatically allow
    The likely mistake to be easily undone

    WHEN MUM TOLD ME THAT MASTURBATING

    When mum told me that masturbating
    Caused serious eye defects
    I made the decision that I would stop
    But not until I needed specs

    AT WORK IT WAS THE BIRTHDAY

    At work it was the birthday
    Of a colleague that no one can abide
    The card we got was perfect for her
    Because it was blank inside

    MY HUSBAND MAKES LOVE TO ME

    “My husband makes love to me
    Like an Olympic athlete, honestly”
    She boasted to her peers
    “So it’s once every four year”

    SOMETIMES I THINK I’LL BE A MALE STRIPPER

    Sometimes I think I’ll be a male stripper
    Be bold and take a chance
    But then I remember I’m really fat
    And I can’t actually dance

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    It's a good plan to wait until you actually need specs before doing anything drastic, but by then it might be too late. I also liked the reason Foghorn visits KFC.

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