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Thread: What I Like About the South

  1. #1
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    What I Like About the South

    The acid plant steams gently
    in Louisiana’s heat
    and leaves the flowers wilting
    on their steel toe-capped feet;
    the squirrels and the chipmunks
    are all carrying the plague,
    whilst the river’s full of bugs
    that eat your brain and leave you vague.

    The Spanish moss hangs limply
    as it dangles from the boughs,
    the air is scarcely moving,
    though the gators still know how;
    so quietly and guilefully
    they watch the folk on shore
    and chew upon unwary souls
    that wandered by before.

    A girl with fruited hat is seen
    to look a little peaky,
    and one of her subordinates,
    (who’s feeling rather cheeky)
    casually suggests she might
    prefer to step indoors,
    and graciously the belle replies,
    “This temperature’s a bore!

    The safety suit and gasmask
    do not show me at my best,
    and in these climes I didn’t need
    to wear my thermal vest…”
    Gallantly the noble swain
    then proffers her his arm
    and like a perfect gentleman
    escorts her out of harm.

    Within the metal edifice
    that constitutes the plant,
    the air-conditioning system
    vainly tries to cope, but can’t.
    Here legionella freely breeds
    And everyone’s infected—
    But sadly, ‘til the staff drop dead—
    Completely undetected.
    Last edited by Hawkman; 01-08-2016 at 01:28 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    May 2009
    Gold Country
    Enjoyed. Quite amusing: albeit in a wry way.
    Experts say the water is safe to drink, but they caution not to get the water up the nose.
    - USA TODAY NETWORK WWLTV-TV 10:24 a.m. EDT July 29, 2015

    I take it that what you like about the "South" is that it's not like home and far away.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami


  3. #3
    Card-carrying Medievalist Lokasenna's Avatar
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    In a lurid pink building...
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    Excellent stuff! You combine some wonderfully vivid imagery with a beautifully handled streak of pitch-black comedy. Very effective.

    Also, should that not be 'belle' in the third stanza?
    "I should only believe in a God that would know how to dance. And when I saw my devil, I found him serious, thorough, profound, solemn: he was the spirit of gravity- through him all things fall. Not by wrath, but by laughter, do we slay. Come, let us slay the spirit of gravity!" - Nietzsche

  4. #4
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    Love the gentle malice.
    ay up

  5. #5
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Also on the Miami side of Florida if the water keeps rising the gators will get their mangrove swamps back.

  6. #6
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Quite an irony in the title. Reminds me of the BP disaster, even then there are other silent killers as you've shown. Do miss the bayous and Spanish moss, tell me it aint so! Love the part about the “girl with fruited hat” seen through “safety suit and gas mask”, poignant. The tension you created here Hawk is remarkable.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  7. #7
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    tS: thanks for reading and quite enjoying You might be interested to learn that the title owes more than a little to a Phil Harris track. He lists slightly jollier reasons for his predilection for southern climes. This one has been languishing on my hard drive since the middle of last year, so the date of your quoted news item would be roughly conremporary with the time of writing. However, my information regarding brain-eating amoeba actually came from a different source

    Loki: thank you too. Glad you appreciated the gallows humour! Good catch on my ringer (or clanger if you prefer). I've corrected it.

    PM: you too, comrade. Thanks for dropping in and relishing the gentility of my malice hahahahaha.

    Y/N: hello and thanks for reading and commenting. Yeah, I'm all for the gators inheriting the earth. So folks, keep driving your gas-guzzling Hummers and flying round the world. The older I get, the more I like a mild winter

    Hi Haunt, and thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it. The girl with the fruited hat is actually a fellow litnetter with an acid fixation. She challenged me to write a poem about the joys of acid manufacturing in the heart of Louisiana. This was the result. I'm just glad that more than two people have read it lol.

    Thanks again to all who've read and commented. Live and be well - H
    Last edited by Hawkman; 01-08-2016 at 07:11 PM.

  8. #8
    Snowqueen Snowqueen's Avatar
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    Between the woods and frozen lake

    I thought I should stop by and read some of your poems.

    Really enjoyed your humour and cool imagery.
    Last edited by Snowqueen; 07-23-2016 at 12:21 AM.

  9. #9
    Registered User DieterM's Avatar
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    Snowqueen, thanks for bumping this one! A real gem. I'm always a bit wary of rhymes, but when it's done in such a clever and unobtrusive way, it's pure joy. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem, Hawkman, the images, the wry wit, everything. Even the rhymes that don't really rhyme on first sight (swain - gentleman) do so when one tries to pronounce the words "in the Southern style".
    "Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
    New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)

  10. #10
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    Hi, Snowy. Thanks for disinterring this offering and allowing it to flavour the air with the miasma of its decomposition! sadly, I've never been much of a Jerry Lewis fan, and, on the whole, I'd rather watch and listen to Carmen than wilfully endure prolonged exposure to his pale imitation. But, I guess, it takes all sorts

    Dieter, thank you too for stopping by. I'm not sure what you mean by, "rhymes that don't really rhyme..." If they don't rhyme, they're not rhymes... Swain and gentleman do not rhyme and are not intended to rhyme. The actual rhyme here occurs in the words, arm and harm. The stanzas consist of eight lines and the rhymes occur on four of them, but only on the even numbers.

    Ah declare, ah never gave a thought to a Southern accent in mah recitation, though ah can see that a person might, if so inclined...

    Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    Live and be well - H

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