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Thread: Christmas 2015 # 9

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2015 # 9

    ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS WAISTCOAT?

    Are you wearing a Christmas Waistcoat?
    Oh yes itís a real crowd pleaser
    But waistcoats are all rather Dickensian
    It makes you look like Ebenezer

    SHE HAD A VERY FRUSTRATING CHRISTMAS

    She had a very frustrating Christmas
    Such was the impression she exuded
    Apparently the gift from Ms Summers
    Was labelled ďbatteries not includedĒ

    THE BRUSSELS SPROUTS

    To some people
    They can cause distress
    But there is a sentiment
    IĎd like to express
    Sprouts are for life
    Not just for Christmas

    WE WOKE UP EARLY ON CHRISTMAS DAY

    We woke up early on Christmas day
    And she reached for her negligee
    While I checked the childrenís room
    And finding them asleep in the gloom
    I held her in the first light of dawn
    And we made love on Christmas morn

    ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE JUMPER?

    Are you wearing a Festive Jumper?
    Well its contents are rather bumper
    Itís an interesting design you chose
    I particularly like Rudolphís nose

    ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SOCKS?

    Are you wearing Christmas socks?
    Beneath your skirt itís hard to see
    And gives me pause to think
    How high they go above the knee

    GROPIUS THE EIGHTH DWARF

    Gropius the eighth dwarf
    Is no longer a performer
    Since all the allegations
    Heís on the offenders register

    SO WHEN YOUNG MRS CLAUS ARRIVED IN TOWN

    So when young Mrs Claus arrived in town
    I looked at her with her pure white hair
    She was a pretty woman but to my discredit
    I couldnít help thinking as I looked at her
    How I like the collar and cuffs to match
    So obviously I was thinking of a little white fur

    A PRESS RELEASE FROM SANTA CLAUS STATED

    A press release from Santa Claus stated
    That the Poles reputation had been blighted
    So Mobile phones were banned, the number
    Of indecent Elfies was the reason cited

    MY SISTER WAS AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS

    My sister was afraid of Santa Claus
    The thought of him made her sick
    The rest of us all loved him to bits
    But she was clearly Claus-trophobic

    ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS ANKLE SOCKS?

    Are you wearing Christmas ankle socks?
    Iíve often pictured them on you
    And you donít need anything else
    Just wearing the socks will do

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the two about the socks and the Claus-trophobic sister the best.

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