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Thread: Christmas 2015 # 8

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2015 # 8

    ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS DRESS?

    Are you wearing a Christmas Dress?
    The big red ribbon is particularly pleasant
    Iím itching to pull at that bow
    So when do I get to open my present

    DO YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA BRINGS

    Do you know what Santa brings naughty
    Boys and girls so they are not excluded?
    Itís not coal anymore so donít think that
    It batteries, labelled "toy not included"

    RUDOLF WAS SUCH AN OBNOXIOUS REINDEER

    Rudolf was such an obnoxious reindeer
    The song about him was just a farse
    The other reindeer all hated him and said
    He could stick his red nose up his arse

    ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS TOP?

    Are you wearing a Christmas Top?
    Well I very much like what I see
    Because there isnít very much of it
    And the contents are bursting free

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SANTA CLAUS

    The difference between Santa Claus
    And a serial philanderer as it goes
    Is in essence a total lack of self-control
    Because Santa stopped at three hoís

    WHEN MY LITTLE DOGíS SETTLE DOWN

    When my little dogís settle down
    On Christmas Eve amidst the snores
    The little doggies dream like a child
    And they dream about Santa Paws

    NEW YEARíS RESOLUTIONS ARE JUST

    New Yearís resolutions are just
    Lies that we tell one another
    And are something that go in
    One year and out the other

    ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SLIPPERS?

    Are you wearing Christmas slippers?
    They look very cute it must be said
    But I think theyíd look much cuter
    If I was to see them under my bed

    IF YOUíRE A TAKE THAT FAN

    If youíre a Take That fan
    Then Christmas could be shocking
    If youíre expecting to find
    An Orange in your stocking

    RUDOLPH WAS SO OBNOXIOUS

    Rudolph was so obnoxious that the
    Other reindeer threatened to strike
    He was really very unpopular and they
    Thought he was RUDE-olph more like

    ARE YOU WEARING MISTLETOE?

    Are you wearing Mistletoe?
    I donít mind kissing you below
    Your little sprig of mistletoe
    But youíre wearing it quite low

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the one about how resolutions go in one year and out the other the best. Also the one about a gift of batteries with "toy not included".

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  4. #4
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I like the mistletoe one. Damn I've only got mint but it will have to do...
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

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